My son has what has been labeled as a “non-verbal learning disability.” What it means in his every day life is that he has a hard time with writing and spelling and picking up non-verbal, subtle social cues. It was diagnosed when he got to middle school and it became increasingly obvious that there was a huge disparity between some of his classes and work (math, science, reading comprehension) and others ( spelling, essays, etc.) He felt so overwhelmed and confused that school became a nightmare and we had plenty of tears, meetings, missed days and outbursts.
The diagnosis was a few years ago and, now in high school, he is driven and determined to put the “disability” behind him. He forgets what a relief it was for him to discover that he wasn’t “stupid” (as he was feeling during the darkest, most overwhelming times) and for us to be able to focus in on helping him learn to accommodate his challenges. He has put the year and 1/2 of tutoring behind him, the months with a counselor who helped him work on the social aspects of the disability, the meetings at school to make sure he was getting the chance to work on his writing in a supportive, understanding environment.
He has needed no prompting or nagging from me, he took control of the hard work and effort from the very beginning and he recently announced at a meeting at school with all his teachers and myself that by next year, he would be finished with this “situation” and is convinced he will “outgrow” the disability. Of course, most of the teachers don’t believe it is possible. And while I know that it is not likely possible that he re-wire his brain, I do see that learning how to accommodate the difficulties, alternative processes, extra work, and sheer determination can make him feel as though he’s conquering the disability. It will be interesting to see when he takes the standardized tests if the gaps between the trouble areas and the other areas where he excels will have narrowed (we all expect that to be the case.)
What has been an affirming reminder for me, however, is that what has been a source of such pain and hardship for him has also given him the opportunity to develop character and pride. He is now a confident, successful student–involved in extra-curricular activities and emerging as a leader in his world. When asked what he wants to do with his life, he says he wants to “be a writer.” To him, the ultimate sign that he has “outgrown” the disability.