Some of my favorite people in the world have been very humble sorts. Humble as in modest and full of humility. I’ve always wrestled a bit with humbleness myself–not sure where modesty stops and self pity and martyrdom starts! Or where self-esteem turns into obnoxious bragging. But, I’ve hoped to nurture and foster humbleness in my children (and, hopefully, nurture it along in myself at the same time).
Perhaps humbleness is a character trait that can be taught–encouraging our kids to develop an appreciation for the fact that everyone has unique gifts and challenges and none are “better” or more admired than others. Of course, we are fighting an uphill battle here since society rewards certain gifts and admires certain character and physical traits and denigrates others. But, the humble people I’ve known have had an innate sense that their talents and gifts come “through” them and do not necessarily “make them.”
I also think that in order to be truly humble and modest, we have to feel connected to the world. Humility comes not from feeling or needing to feel like a big shot, but in understanding how we are one person, one piece in a larger, intricate world. This is a hard concept for kids to grasp–as it seems they certainly believe the world is turning and revolving around them. Perhaps, if we parents model and work on fostering modesty and humbleness in ourselves, when our children are developmentally able to grasp that “connectedness” concept, they will be able to assume some modesty in their characters as well.
Humbleness is a tough sell in our materialistic, pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps Western society. So often, humble, modest people are seen as weak doormats instead of the strong, self-assured people I have known them to be. How can we teach our kids that being strong doesn’t mean we aren’t connected to our family, friends and neighbors? How can we show them that humbleness means acknowledging that we are one piece in the big puzzle of life? How can we convey that modesty and humility foster teamwork, partnerships, and concern for others?
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