We parents tend to assume that when our children want our attention it is a “bad thing.” We talk about it like we have failed as parents or they are being overly-annoying as children and we just cannot understand why they want to act up to get our attention. When you think about it, however, can you really blame them for wanting attention? After all, isn’t that part of our job as parents to give our children plenty of love and attention? When our children act out to get us to notice them, maybe we should see that as a sign that we need to get back to the business of parenting?
Children who get enough and have enough attention do not generally act out in an attempt to get more. We have also learned that most children will take any attention from a parent they can get—whether it is positive or negative. If we load them up on positive reinforcement and attention, there is a good chance that they will not be acting out and settling for the negative stuff.
As a single parent, I know that my children used to act up for attention when I was the most distracted or busy with other things. Of course this was aggravating and sometimes I had to be very clear that I had to pay attention to the task at hand and THEN I would be available for them. As long as we follow through and give them the attention they need, we can still take care of what we need to take care. I found that my children were good reminders and very good gauges for when I was getting too wrapped up in other things and not paying enough attention to my kids. By letting them know that I wanted to respond to them and spend time with them, they eventually learned how to skip the acting out and simply say: “I want you to spend time with me” or “Pay attention to me!” Our children want and need our attention and there is absolutely nothing wrong with their trying to get it.