Being the sole authority in your family and being in charge does not mean that you need to be the person who yells the loudest or even talks the loudest and the longest. For some of us, we get confused that being in charge means holding court and forcing things our way. As the authority of a single parent family, however, staying calm and providing firm, yet calm guidance can make for a much healthier, happier family.
We know that decisions and actions we make when we are calm are usually better and have a more positive effect on our family. This is not to say that there will not be times when we are forced by desperation or emergency to act with passion and excitement, but our children generally need us to take care of things and guide them with a calm, in-charge demeanor. We singe parents are capable of spreading feelings of insecurity or chaos, or making things worse when we yell, scream, or react with overwhelming emotion to ordinary life events. If our kids think that we will “lose control” every time they misbehave or something goes wrong, how secure will that make them feel?
When everything else seems kooky and out of control, our kids need to know they can depend on us to generally stay calm. This might not come as the natural reaction for some of us who have learned that overreacting is the only real way to react. We can practice and learn how to stay calm on the outside, however, even if we are nervous, scared or stressed on the inside. As we do this, we are modeling a less crisis-oriented way of responding to life events for our children, and we might just start to feel calmer on the inside too.
Also: Tips: Staying Calm when Your Kids are Misbehaving
Talk Softly, and They Might Listen