It is a growing trend for more and more people to remain single. However, although there are more of these singles, that does not mean that the criticism they hear is any less. People who remain single are often thought to either be a “player” who cannot make a commitment or a “loser” who cannot find somebody.
It was these types of attitudes that lead Carl Weisman to set the record straight. Carl, a 49 year old bachelor, set out to discover exactly why it is that some men do not marry.
To begin his work he did a survey of 1,533 heterosexual single men. He then put his findings in a book that would allow women to understand why some very successful, smart, and nice men remain single.
This book he titled “So Why Have You Never Been Married? – Ten Insights into Why He Hasn’t Married”.
In his book, Weisman concludes that it is not marriage that men are afraid of committing to. He discovered that the single men were more afraid of making a commitment to a bad marriage that could end in divorce.
The number of single men in their 40s has grown from around 6% in 1980 to currently about 17%.
In these single men there are three different groups. About 8% of the bachelor’s surveyed admitted that they never want to get married. Around 62% stated that they would get married but would not settle for anything less than what they considered to be a perfect mate. The other 30% rode the fence on the topic of marriage.
When asked about children, four out of ten surveyed had no desire to have children. Three out of ten actually wanted to be a father. The rest were once again uncertain.
Seventy-two percent of the men in Weisman’s survey claimed that they were not afraid of getting married. They simply stated that they were afraid of getting married to the wrong person.