I believe that children are habitual creatures. If truth be told, we probably all are habitual creatures, but I have just been able to notice it more in my children than I can in myself. One thing I’ve learned about bad or unsavory habits is that it is best to catch them early—before they become so ingrained that they are incredibly hard or impossible to change…
Sure, there are plenty of times when kids just seem to evolve and outgrow bad habits. But there are others that can be so insidious and ingrained that they last a lifetime. According to experts, the earlier you catch, stop, and retrain yourself when it comes to habits, the less likely it is to stick around or recur and cause issues.
The trick for parents is in the “how” of changing bad habits. It takes care and tact to encourage and support a child in losing a bad habit since a parent’s persistent attention and nagging can just make everything worse. If a child is really young, you can use distraction and offer substitutes and may be able to divert a bad habit without the child even knowing what you are doing. As the child gets older, however, he will be much more resistant to mom or dad’s meddling. How you influence a child to shift a bad habit will depend, in part, on the child’s personality. Does she respond to peer pressure or rewards or other types of encouragement? I have one child who really responds to reason. If I just explain things to him and give him as much factual detail and practical information as I can, he will generally make a practical and realistic decision to make a change. He’s a rare one though when it comes to kids and reason!
For the adolescent/teenager, you may really need to pull out your psychology 101 and get the child to think it is his idea and his interest to let go of a bad habit. If these kids know that something is bothering mom or dad, they may just work even harder to hang on to it!
Also: Breaking Bad Habits
Don’t Ask for Help–Break the Bad Habit
Toddler Play Dates and Picking Up Bad Social Habits