In an effort to forestall problems before they become a major issue, try to get in the habit of talking more with your spouse, making time for each other, discussing your day. Maybe try for a set time when you can sit down and talk together. It may not always happen. Life has a habit of interfering with our plans but it will never happen at all unless you plan for it and make it a goal. Find the time that works best for you, which is usually not when you or your spouse want to go to sleep.
A suggestion when you have an issue to raise and one that often gets overlooked is prayer. If you are a believer, pray for wisdom and clarity in choosing the right words to explain what the issue is and find a workable solution
Arrange a time to hold your discussion which means not when you or your spouse is busy, tired or on the way out the door to a meeting or to work. Not the moment they walk in again either.
Watch the tone- don’t yell but keep a gentle, reasonable tone with words that are non threatening and non accusatory. Concentrate more on saying how you feel about the situation rather than accusing and laying blame to your spouse.
Stick to the issue at hand. Don’t bring up past wrongs and arguments. Avoid words all encompassing words like ‘never,’ or ‘always.’ Don’t use sarcasm. Don’t make a litany of your spouse’s faults. Keep in mind and stick to the issue at hand rather than bringing up past hurts or making it a pick on your spouse time.
Try and keep emotions in check and do not let tears and anger cloud the issue. When we become angry and emotional, words flow that are often not the ones we really want to say.
These simple tips should help you resolve problems more easily and effectively, with less hurt feelings.
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