Why Part 4

After we decided that Christmas Eve with my in laws was getting us home too late for our traditions we asked my mother in law to move the time up and maybe do a brunch. Everyone is off on Christmas Eve so it seemed like a good compromise but it was not good for them. It seemed like every alternative we came up with just would not work so we just stopped going on Christmas Eve even every other year. WE started asking my in laws for a date that we could get together with them and do Christmas and … Continue reading →

Why Part 3

Ok so my rant is not over I bet you thought it was but the drama gets better and this is much healthier for me than keeping it in. A few months ago we met with my mother and father in law at a restaurant and we mentioned that the kids wanted to go to Sea World at Christmas and that we were planning on it. Now June may seem to early to tell family members your holiday plans but with my in laws I could tell them the day after Christmas that we are going away the following Christmas … Continue reading →

Why Part 2

OK so if you read my last entry you may know I am a little upset with my in laws not just my mother and father in law but sisters and brother in laws too. If you have not read my last entry take a minute and click here. Ok so you are all caught up now. The other day my oldest who has the broken hand asked me why “Grandma and Grandpa don’t love him?” Now first the fact that a 12 year old should have to even think that never mind ask that really gets me upset. We … Continue reading →

The Support Group

We found the support group for our area. I think I mentioned that already. We love it! At least I love it… I’m not sure how Tom feels about it. He had to miss the second meeting because he had to work, but he went to the first one with me. He didn’t seem to feel strongly about it one way or the other. Maybe it’ll grow on him. Maybe it won’t. We’ll see. The group has given us the chance to get to know a little about our post-adoption support coordinator, she coordinates the meetings. So she is there … Continue reading →

Adoption and Your Employer

Ed Paul’s recent Blog On Having a Calling made me smile. Our adoption stories are as much the same as they are different. We both raised biological children but found a good reason to become adoptive parents. He was able to retire and share his calling with his co-workers but, I had a very different experience. In my last position in a large Insurance Brokerage I knew I had been hired in part because, my biological children were old enough to drive me to work! It was very clear during the interviewing process that I was well liked, however there … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parents Need Rest

The adoption community uses a term that describes a brief rest from duty for adoptive parents. Respite is defined as a short time of relief from a difficult assignment. It is absolutely necessary for adoptive parents to occasionally be able to take it easy for a while. Our first respite weekend came as a surprise. As a Christmas present, our grown children arranged for us to have a Saturday night at the finest hotel in Galveston. They stayed with our crew and paid for a meal at a fine restaurant. It’s about a two hour drive down there from our … Continue reading →

Making a Support Group Successful

As I’ve been working with my co-leader Anna on building up our adoption support group, Oregon Adoptive Parents Network. To keep our group growing and thriving, here are some things we found needing attention: Advertising: How are people expected to attend a group they know nothing about? Currently with November being National Adoption Awareness Month, my co-leader Anna and I are really beginning to push advertising. We’ve made our fliers and have distributed them with local adoption agencies, and community resource places. We have also put an ad in the local paper. Most people who’ve come to our group have … Continue reading →

What You Have to Offer a Support Group

Although you may not think you need a support group, have you considered how a support group might need you? One of the main reasons I think people don’t attend an adoption support group is they don’t feel it will be of any benefit to them. In my years of leading and co-leading support groups I’ve noticed three primary groups of attendees: those in waiting, those in crisis, and those who want to be of support. Those in waiting: These are often people who’ve attended group to learn more about the process of adoption after their home studies have been … Continue reading →

Building a Support Network

When my husband and I were waiting for an adoptive placement, we thought it would be of great benefit to become involved with an adoption support group. Never at that time did I think I’d ever be a part of building the kind of support network we have today. After my husband and I were blessed with our first precious son, it was only I who continued attending group at the local state offices in which we’d adopted from. A friend from group and I, eventually became the old-timers and were able to direct the meetings how we felt to … Continue reading →

Get Involved – Support and Encourage

This is the last in a series of blogs on how to get involved in adoption even if you are not adopting children into your own family. One of the biggest things that you can do for an adoptive family is to provide emotional support and encouragement. Adoptive families deal with all of the issues that traditional families encounter and added to that is a set of challenges unique to adoption. While most adoptive parents say that they would do it all again in a heartbeat, they also confess that they are often overwhelmed by the challenges of adoptive parenting. … Continue reading →