Adoption Loss

Throughout the adoption process, when people heard that we were adopting they automatically looked at us like we were defective. They would ask if we had tried hormones, in-vitro, or if my husband was not able to make babies. There are no biological reasons why we went the adoption route. The choice to adopt was just that for us, a choice. We made a conscious choice to prevent ourselves from getting pregnant; we made the choice to adopt as a couple from the beginning of our marriage. You would be surprised at how differently families that adopt are treated compared … Continue reading →

Things We Wish We’d Done While Waiting

In my Fast Start blog, I set out some steps to take so that you will be ready to proceed with the various stages of adoption as soon as possible. (Follow the advice of your own adoption agency, of course.) Still, some waiting is inevitable. Here are some things to do. Some of these you have heard before. Learn basic baby care, if applicable. Learn about child development and what children typically do at the age your child-to-be is currently, if you have a child identified, and at the age he/she is likely to come home. Learn about any special … Continue reading →

Adjusting to the Silent Wait

I’ve started calling it the “silent wait”—this waiting for a referral part of the adoption process. I was sufficiently warned that the waiting was the hardest part—having filled out all the paperwork, made it through the homestudy, had the physical, chose a program, etc. and then sitting, waiting for the next step. So, I was prepared…sort-of. What I haven’t gotten used to is the silent isolation of the waiting… I have three biological children who are all in high school and I am a single mom who will be forty in a few months. All I have is my own … Continue reading →

Biblical Encouragement for Those in Waiting

The holiday times were by far the most difficult for me to bear while waiting for our boys. I know there are others that can relate to the longing feeling around this time as well. To be honest, I’m not sure how I would have sustained sanity without my faith in Christ and His ability during the dark period in my life of waiting to be a mother. Perhaps the most inspirational book of the Bible for me during this time was the Book of Psalms. David committed sins beyond what most of us have, was loved by God and … Continue reading →

Labor of the Heart

I’m not qualified to make a true correlation between physical labor while giving birth to a child, and the labor pains of the heart in adoption. I have never experienced child birth first hand. I had the honor of being invited while a long time close friend of mine was awaiting the arrival of her and her husband’s first child, a beautiful son by birth. I remember her contractions, the waiting for her next stage of labor to approach (she had a very, very long labor); the praying for her son, and for God to be with my friend to … Continue reading →