As I contemplate holiday shopping, I’ve been checking out some products I’ve reviewed in past blogs and discovering new resources as well. More and more, it is possible to find gifts representing children of all ethnicities—including multiracial—and abilities. First, the bad news. Jambo Kids, which I reviewed last year, was a line of six dolls who each had an adoption story. Two were from the U.S. and one each was from China, Guatemala, Russia and Liberia. I can still reach the website, but the links to actually purchase products seem to not be functional. I have a message in to … Continue reading →

Our kids are growing up in a global society where they will have to feel comfortable with people of other races and religions. I really recommend the book Hate Hurts: How Children Learn and Unlearn Prejudice and the resources I listed in my blog Resources for Talking about Skin Color. The Public Broadcasting Service website offers the following suggestions from experts who contributed to PBS shows: Be aware of how and when children’s attitudes are formed. Children develop attitudes and identity through their experiences with their bodies and their social environments. Very young children perceive differences in skin color but … Continue reading →

In recent blogs I talked about anti-immigrant feeling in America today and whether it will have an unintended impact on our adopted children. I was thinking primarily of our Asian and Latino children, but a third-grader from Ethiopia was recently taunted in my neighborhood and told to go back to her country. In some parts of the U.S. the immigrant African population may be larger than the African-American population, so possibly more and more people will assume that African-heritage children are immigrants as well. And some of them are—Haiti and Liberia have been native countries of significant numbers of adopted … Continue reading →

It’s nice for a child to have a doll who is a positive reflection on the child’s own looks. The child will likely think the doll is pretty, and she may transfer that feeling regarding her own looks. However, I do not believe in trying to match the looks of the doll to the looks of the child all the time. When I was a child, my mother bought me a blonde doll and my younger sister a doll with dark hair, to match our own hair. Then my youngest sister was born with brown hair—not as dark as most … Continue reading →

Many parents who adopt transracially deeply feel that looks shouldn’t matter. And in one sense they shouldn’t. But I’ve come to see that looks cause assumptions to be made. Assumptions that my daughter is lost, although she’s standing right next to me. (She’s Korean and I’m fair-skinned.) Assumptions that I’m her babysitter. Assumptions that she doesn’t speak English. Certain aspects of how one looks carry assumptions based on past experiences and emotions. Different people have different assumptions about who feels threatening and who feels comforting. The more we are around something, the more it becomes part of what we define … Continue reading →