The Day My RAD Daughter Got Her Way.

The sad part about watching a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder live life is knowing that things are not as bad as the child seems to respond. I’m sure that all children are different and children with RAD are not all the same, but some of these behaviors are considered classic. It seems that a child with RAD is simply unable to just be happy and trust that life will be fine. It’s as if there is always some quest for something, anything and especially whatever has been controlled or limited. Tell my daughter that in our house we don’t … Continue reading →

Superficially Engaging

It’s been interesting talking with my neighbor about Reactive Attachment Disorder, maybe because during the past four-years I have had to learn everything as I went along. Most of my support system lost track of where we were at with whatever we were trying to do to help our daughter. It’s been nice to have someone new to share with–now that we are used to this reality and not in a state of panic or despair. Reactive attachment disorder is more then the set of Symptoms and Diagnostic Criteria RAD is a condition in which a child has difficulty forming … Continue reading →

The Symptoms of Reactive Attachment Disorder

The clinical, medical definition and The Diagnostic Criteria For Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) may be difficult to read and understand. Unless, you are the parent of a RAD child and then for some reason those few paragraphs mean much more. The symptoms of Reactive Attachment Disorder parents generally witness are far more specific and obvious. Some of the commons Attachment Disorder Symptoms include: A child who is superficially engaging and charming with strangers and visitors. A child who is Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers, including hugging and talking about intimate family details. A Child who fails to make or maintain eye … Continue reading →

The Diagnostic Criteria For Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)

My new neighbor called me this afternoon to talk about The Letter, About Our RAD Daughter. We had a short conversation and for as long as it last there is a chance she might be able to understand the situation. It’s so hard to tell people about my daughter’s life in a way they could possibly understand. People don’t want to hear what happens to some children. Some people can’t hear even when they are told about it. Most people can’t imagine. I have learned to be much less dramatic about “How” my little girl became my daughter when she … Continue reading →

A Letter to Our New Neighbors, About Our RAD Daughter.

Dear New Neighbors, I understand you have met our beautiful little girl, and met her, and met her, and met her again. I wasn’t sure “who” would be first and it’s very hard to know how to handle this kind of situation, so this time I waited to see what would happen. As you may know our little girl is very bright, outgoing and friendly. She has the most beautiful smile and would do just about anything you ask of her. Makala, is wonderful and full of love and wants to make others happy. I have been Makala’s mother since … Continue reading →

Adoptive Parents Need To Set Clear Limits From Day One.

When a child is placed in a new home with new parents everyone’s world changes and the whole family faces a period of adjustment. Adoptive parents are happy, excited and ready to work on all the things we have learned will help our children attach and become secure. The child however, may be feeling a variety of mixed emotions and may have left a life with very different expectations and limits for behavior. Typically, there is a period of time where everyone is getting to know each other, children generally have a honeymoon period and adoptive parents should enjoy this … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-Fun

The average person would assume that having Fun comes naturally, and maybe it does. Adoptive parents of older or special needs children often find themselves living a life that feels everything except fun. Children with attachment disorders can have a way of sabotaging anything fun. Adoptive parents consumed with adjusting to the stress of the new family, and worried about the attachment of our children can actually find themselves in a situation where Fun is but a memory. I have been there. I think most adoptive parents who had an older child placed have at some point felt their lives … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-More Time.

In the last Blog, we talked about Attachment Parenting and understanding the concept that Time plays when adopting an older child. Time in terms of days weeks, months and years. I have written about family traditions, making memories and creating understanding about house rules and all of those parenting tools require the other kind of time. This is the undivided, full and complete attention kind of time. Ordinary families do spend a lot of time when a new baby is born, just caring for the basic needs of the baby. We aren’t surprised when a new parent complains about being … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-Time

I have my own theories about attachment and the biggest one is that it just takes time for it to be normal, routine and part of daily life. Most of us don’t meet our spouses on Saturday and get married a week later. The general custom is to date for at least a few months before committing to someone else forever. It usually takes time to get to know each other, to understand one another and to have feelings that make us want to spend the rest of our lives with someone. It may happen that two people meet, fall … Continue reading →

Attachment Parenting-House Rules.

Families fostering or adopting older children are usually well trained with ideas on making transition and family living less stressful for everyone. One very important tool adoptive parents of older children are encouraged to use is some kind of “House Rules” system. It’s helpful for everyone involved to understand what the expectations are from the start. Most families are encouraged to put the rules down in writing, either a poster or a contract depending on the age of the child. House Rules give adoptive parents the chance to let a child know what happens in their Home. In my training, … Continue reading →