Birth Parents (Part 3) Loss and Grief

When birthparents are dealing with the loss and grief of having surrendered their baby for adoption, some feelings may be expressed as denial. Denial is a shield from the pain of the loss. As birthparents move on in the process of grieving they may soon face feelings of sorrow and depression as the loss becomes more real. Anger and guilt may follow, and it is common for birthparents express their anger at those who helped with the adoption placement. Placing a baby for adoption may bring out other feelings of loss, and add to the grief. No one ever dreams … Continue reading →

Birth Parents (Part 2) Before and At Placement

Many mothers and fathers who decide to place a baby for adoption express feelings of great loss in their own lives. Many birthparents hope placing their baby for adoption will lead to a better life for their child and better future for themselves. For some a sense of loss begins during pregnancy when expectant parents come to accept the reality of the unplanned baby. The actual birth and physical separation of a new baby from the parents can result in a sense of loss that is all-encompassing. The actual surrendering of the baby may cause feelings of numbness, shock, denial, … Continue reading →

The Adoption Triad: Birth Parents (Part 1)

I don’t claim to know what it might feel like to place a baby for adoption. I do however, feel it is important that the Families.com Adoption Blog include supportive information for those considering an adoption plan and for those birthparents who have placed their babies with adoptive families. Adoption is a life changing experience for three different groups of people. The Adoption Triad consists of birthparents, adoptive parents, and the adopted person. In the past, each of the members of the triad were seen and treated as parallel lives and often disconnected. Today, society is changing and in many … Continue reading →

How Do I Arrange for Future Contact With My Child If I Want It?

When a mother decides to place her baby for adoption through an agency, privately or independently she may choose to have a closed or confidential adoption or she may wish to have an open or semi-open adoption agreement with the adoptive parents. An open adoption might include some visits with the adoptive family and child during the years and a semi-open adoption usually means the adoptive parents will agree to send pictures and an update letter every now an then. Once in awhile even in an open or semi-open adoption things don’t go the way it was planned. Sometimes, the … Continue reading →

How Would an Expectant Mother Arrange a Private Adoption?

Adoptions arranged without using an adoption agency are called independent or private adoption. These types of adoptions are legal in all States except Connecticut, Delaware, Massachusetts, and Minnesota (at the time of this writing). With independent and private adoptions, the pregnant mother needs to find an attorney to represent her. It is important to find an attorney who doesn’t charge a fee if the mother decides not to place her baby for adoption. She would also need to find adoptive parents. Here’s some information about how to find both of these: To Find an Attorney Legal Aid Is a service … Continue reading →

How Do I Arrange Placing My Baby For Adoption Through an Agency?

In every State, a pregnant mother can work with a licensed child placing adoption agency. In most States, a mother can also work directly with an adopting couple or their attorney without using an agency. Adoption agencies arrange most newborn adoptions. There are many different types of adoption agencies. There are some agencies that are for profit and some are nonprofit. When a pregnant mother contacts an adoption agency, she should be able to speak with a social worker and ask questions so she understands the rules and knows what to expect. If you are prenant and making an adoption … Continue reading →

Should I Place My Child for Adoption?

The choice to place your baby for adoption is a difficult one. Adoption is permanent and the adoptive parents will raise your child and have all legal authority for his or her welfare. If you are thinking about placing your baby for adoption you need to consider these questions as you make your decision: Have I considered all the possibilities? Are the reasons you are considering adoption for your baby because of temporary problems? Money, housing, or not having a job at this time? Have you called Social Services to see what they can do? Have you asked friends and … Continue reading →

I Want to Place My Baby For Adoption, What Do I Do Next?

If you are pregnant and have decided to place your baby for adoption, you still have some choices you need to make for your baby’s future. The hard part and decision has been made and now you need to decide what type of adoption plan is best for you and your baby. This is an important step to take as soon as you have made your decision to place your baby for adoption. Remember you are the mother until your baby is born and you have signed the legal documents relinquishing your rights. In some states, mothers have a period … Continue reading →

Are You Pregnant and Considering Adoption?

Are you pregnant and not sure you want to keep your baby? Pregnancy causes many changes physically and emotionally, an unplanned pregnancy can be confusing for a woman. Talking with someone who can to help you decide if adoption is the choice that is right for you might help. You may want to talk to your doctor, counselor, minister and family before you make a decision. There are also places where you can receive professional counseling free or very low cost. Crisis pregnancy center. This is a place where they talk only to pregnant women and often only about the … Continue reading →