Residential Treatment

It was just a few days after Christmas when everything fell apart and our nearly 9-year-old daughter Makala lost all sense of reality. We were getting ready to celebrate all of our birthdays, and other important dates. It was approaching the 4th anniversary of Gotcha Day. Worse still it was about to be the 5th anniversary of the day the police had taken Makala and her baby brother Jeremiah into foster care. January is usually a very stressful time of year for our family. But, this past January was looking as if we might not make it as a family. … Continue reading →

My Journey Continued When I Married an Adopted Boy

Continued from, When Uncle Eddie Took Care of His Birth Mother. Makala, it seems like my whole life has been all about becoming your mommy–and Jeremiah’s mommy too. I have learned so many things along the way that have made me a strong mother, who is willing to learn what I need to help you grow up and become the mommy you hope to be. With Uncle Eddie, and all the children I knew in my life I learned a lot about being adopted. Not that anyone who wasn’t adopted could ever understand everything. When I was just 18-years old … Continue reading →

Adopting the Second Time Around

Our first adoption brought us so much joy. It was our son who provided us with the honorary title of “Mom and Dad”. During that drawn out journey for our family, it was truly about helping us achieve our dream of parenthood. When we began to long for a second child, we noticed it felt much different than it did with our first child. This time around adoption wasn’t about making my husband and me parents; it was about making our son a big brother and growing our family. Unlike with our first son, there wasn’t the desperation or the … Continue reading →

State Agency: Help or Hindrance?

We have now adopted five maternal brothers out of our state’s foster system. We started the process when we took the first child in February, 2003. We were finally free of all responsibilities to the state when the fifth child was adopted in January, 2006. Frequently, the people working for the state were a hindrance to the process. I can give several examples. By May, 2003, we had the first four boys, one of whom was a newborn, in our home. In a short period of time, they had moved from an abusive home, to a shelter, to a foster … Continue reading →

Foster Children Need Love

Sometimes foster children come into a home so distressed and traumatized that it is difficult to imagine how they could ever adjust to anything but institutional living. On May 5, 2003, Walter and Jacob came to live with us. We already had their two brothers, Tommy and Caleb. Jacob was very difficult to handle. We now had, Caleb, four months old, Jacob, 18 months old, Tommy, 30 months old, and, Walter, who was four and a half. Tommy was having hysterical, screaming rages quite regularly. Walter was very hyperactive and obviously anxious. Jacob could not get along with any of … Continue reading →

The Long Awaited TPR

For foster parents hoping to adopt their foster child and parents hoping to adopt their child’s birth sibling in the state system, the waiting for termination of parental rights (TPR) of the birth parents can be an emotional journey. What may look like an open and shut case doesn’t always turn out to be that way. In most cases birth parents are given every opportunity to regain custody of their child. Sometimes it can look like a birth parent is not following case plan. The state and the judge might agree that TPR in inevitable based on the evidence, but … Continue reading →

Reflections on Adoption

Had someone told me one day I would grow up, meet a nice man who I’d marry, would willingly go through state adoption; that our children would be born to mothers who were unstable and our kids would have challenges likely as a result, I would have told them they were crazy! Years ago I believed that the only people who adopted were those who couldn’t have children of their “own”. I’m not sure if going through pregnancy and childbirth is harder than adoption. I can’t even say for sure that love for a child who’s been adopted is different … Continue reading →