Book Review: A Man and his Mother

A Man and His Mother: An Adopted Son’s Search is written by Tim Green. Football fans may recognize that name—Green has played with the Atlanta Falcons and Syracuse University, and been a commentator for Fox Sports News. Green is also a published author, and this memoir is very personal. Green is candid about the many facets of his life as a son, brother, college and pro athlete, husband and father—and as an adoptee. Many of the adult adoptee memoirs I’ve read are written by women. Green’s book may be of interest to older teen males who were adopted. It also … Continue reading →

Preparing for and Processing a Reunion: Expectations and Emotions

My last blogs talked about children’s experience of open adoption and possible advantages of a meeting between the child and birth family members. Counselors and social workers familiar with adoption issues can provide invaluable help in preparing for and dealing with such a reunion. Adoption workers may help birth and adoptive parents share and manage expectations, and help them process their own adoption issues so that they can be focused on the needs of the child. For one birthfather, these sessions covered the circumstances of his daughter’s birth and adoption, his feelings for her then and now, his relationship with … Continue reading →

Advantages of Reunion with Birth Family for Child and Teen Adoptees

Many adoptive parents tell their children that they will help them search for their birthparents when they turn eighteen. However, more and more adoptive parents are reaching out to their children’s birth families earlier. Sometimes it is the adoptive parent who desires medical history, information their children may want in the future, or simply a chance to thank the birthmother and reassure her that her child is well and happy. Sometimes a birth parent makes the first contact. In other cases, it is the child or teen adoptee who indicates a strongly felt need or desire for information. Some children … Continue reading →

Making Contact: Setting Comfortable Limits with Our Child’s Adopted Siblings’ Families

One of my fears in preparing to meet my either of my sons’ siblings or adoptive families was what if they’re hopes for the degree of contact differs greatly from ours? I thought quite a bit about this and played out different scenarios in my mind. Part of me worried the families would rather not have any contact. When we first became a family, we had the constant reminder of adoption. We wanted to move on with life and feel normal. For this reason, I certainly would have understood my childrens’ birth siblings’ family wanting to move forward or have … Continue reading →

Meeting Birth Siblings

I’m struck with awe every time I meet a sibling of one of my boys’. When I get ready to meet one for the first time, I expect to see this strong resemblance between them and my child. Though I can usually fish for some similarities, it is so difficult to look at a child who is not a sibling by our immediate family relation and grasp that the child is related by genetics. I have been blessed to get to know both of my youngest son’s half siblings and three out of six of my older son’s birth siblings; … Continue reading →

The Reunion – Someone Like Me

I have spent my entire life wishing there was someone like me. I knew at a young age I was different. I cannot explain in every way how I was different, but I knew I was. All I wanted was someone else who could understand me, because my family certainly didn’t. I wasn’t like them at all. Mom and I in November 2003 And from the instant we laid eyes on each other, I knew that this someone I had been wishing and searching for, was finally here. My birth mother is probably more like me than anyone else in … Continue reading →

The Reunion – A Mother Finally Holds Her Baby Girl

When our eyes locked, it was amazing. It was like an electric energy was coursing through me, and I realized that I was honestly looking at the person who gave me life. If it wasn’t for her, I would not be here today. The thirty or forty feet we had to walk across the baggage claim area, to get to each other seemed like an eternity. While in reality it was only seconds. And just like in the movies, when she got to me everything she was carrying hit the floor and I rushed into her arms and she held … Continue reading →

The Reunion – Anticipation

The anticipation leading up to the face to face reunion was the most incredible, amazing feeling I’d ever known. I had no clue how anxious I’d be. And how nervous I was not. I thought for sure I’d be terrified, but I wasn’t worried about any of that. The weeks stretched on and I thought it would never get here. I kept having dreams, or more like nightmares, that she would call and say, “I’m sorry I cannot make it”. It didn’t matter the reason she wouldn’t be able to come, but my faith was so faltering during the time, … Continue reading →

The Reunion of Mother and Child: How It Began

I shared my search story, and I know I left a lot out. It was a long process, and one I wish to never repeat. The emotions associated with a search are incredible, and not necessarily in a good way. However, there did come a time, when the search was over, that I began to wonder about a possible face-to-face reunion. It was strange, but surreal. I was happy just having contact via letters and emails and the occasional phone call. But after time, I needed more. The phone calls began coming more and more frequently to where my birth … Continue reading →

My Children Met Their Biological Grandparents.

Adoption Reunions were hardly heard of before the early 1980’s when the talk show hosts started putting biological families back together in front of a live studio audience, broad-casted at 4:00 p.m. coast-to-coast. There was no bigger leader in the reunion shows then Oprah. At that time I was married to an adopted man. We were only 18 and 19 when we got married and we had two children by the time we were 23 years old. My ex-husband had been adopted during the early 1960’s when everything about adoption was very different. Back then there was a real good … Continue reading →