Should Adoptive Parents Search For Their Children’s Birth Parents?

A Dutch adoptive family recently located their daughter’s Chinese birthparents. Their identity and story was confirmed by DNA testing. It is the first known case of Chinese birthparents being found. The Dutch couple says they were motivated by their daughter’s “persistent interest” in her birthparents to use the media in Chongqing, China to search for her birthparents. There is actually quite a lot of controversy in the adoption community on whether adoptive families should search for their children’s birthparents. Many of us have now seen examples of open adoption—now the norm in U.S. domestic adoptions—in the lives of our friends … Continue reading →

Hepatitis C Positive Babies

There are a large number of children waiting in the foster system for adoption due to their parent’s poor choice to use illegal drugs. As the result of a pregnant mother having used a dirty needle for injecting drugs, her unborn baby may be at risk for contracting diseases like hepatitis. While initially it is difficult to determine whether or not a baby tests positive due to the mother’s antibodies still in its system, it is always better to have some safety measures in place than be sorry. Only about 4% of babies will actually contract hepatitis C from their … Continue reading →

Making Contact: Finding My Child’s Adopted Siblings

After three years of playing amateur private investigator, I finally found the rest of my son’s birth siblings’ adoptive families. I desperately wanted more information on my son’s family medical background than I was given by our state. I wanted to know if the other families got more information on my son’s birth parents character as well. Here is the story on how we made contact. For easier reference and safety purposes, I will refer to my son’s birth siblings by their maternal birth order rather than their names. My son is the 6th child of 8 by his birthmother. … Continue reading →

Things I Wish I was Told about Adoption

I’m not only going to share the things that I wish I was told about adoption prior to doing it, but the things I’m glad I was told as well. Keep in mind this list pertains primarily to state adoptions: • Whether you give birth, or adopt, if you haven’t met the child prior, you really never know what you will get in regard to special needs. • The process of waiting and emotional ups and downs will better prepare you for the road ahead. • Get involved with a support group! Being in one ourselves, my husband and I … Continue reading →

Celebrating an Adoptive Placement

What a joyful time it is in a family’s life when the child they’ve waited for is finally placed. Like most families, we were eager to show our child off and celebrate their entry into our lives. Here are some ideas I’ve come up to make this time more comfortable for the child: After Placement As much as you want to show your new blessing off, getting them acquainted with their new family, resist the temptation to do so right away. If your child is older, they are going to need some settling time in their new home first. It … Continue reading →

The Case File

When the state has chosen you to adopt a child, one of the things you should be receiving is a case file on them. Though state or county laws vary, typically you should receive any information pertaining to the child that your state’s children’s services has. Some things that might be included in this are: • Copy of the birth certificate (often a photo copy) • Social Security card • Social services case narrative • Case summaries to the judge • Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) document • Proof of reasonable efforts to provide birth parents with services • Court … Continue reading →

Ignorant Comments

Until my husband and I adopted, neither of us had given much thought about political correctness in reference to adoption. Prior to our adoptions, I made the same kinds of comments that I now hear from others. Some of these comments include” “You mean they aren’t yours?” “Where is their real mom?” “Are they real brothers?” “My (so-and-so) couldn’t have children of their own either.” There are a couple different ways of handling these cases. You can choose to be offended, or you can recognize that the person really doesn’t understand, and be the one to educate them. The day … Continue reading →

Telling Your Child That They Were Adopted

When you adopt an older child, likely there isn’t reason to tell them they were adopted as they probably already know. For parents out there that adopted younger children, this is something you’re going to have to face if you haven’t already. There are some different approaches to talking with kids about adoption. I strongly advise you consider the approach we’ve taken. After much reading and learning from others who were adopted, we found the best way to tell a child is to talk to them while they’re young, never making a big deal about it. Think about this for … Continue reading →

Communicating With Your Case Worker

You may recall me talking about that awful “hurry up and wait” game. You might even be playing it now. If you are, I’m sure you have discovered, the state does not work on our time! Often times, case workers are very over loaded with each case being unique. Whether you are working with an adoption worker or a child worker, there are some general things you may want to keep in mind. Child workers can be hard to reach at their desk. They are often called to court, or home visits. There is usually a lot of paperwork and … Continue reading →

Black Market Adoption

Black market adoptions are an illegal practice. It usually involves the buying and selling of children and involves large sums of money. It is a sad but true fact that babies and children are bought and sold nationwide. They are illegally placed with an adoptive family. How do you know if your adoption was a Black Market Adoption? If you are having trouble locating any information at all on your adoption, even after very careful research, it is possible some illegalities were involved. In my own search, I found that some information was completely falsified, for instance my birth mother’s … Continue reading →