When I was twenty-seven, I decided to come to Utah to find my biological father. It wasn’t difficult to locate him, and he seemed genuinely glad to be reunited with me. It was a strange, bittersweet experience. As I met his other children, I got to be around people who looked like me and had similar talents and intellects for once. As my father and I interacted, I slowly began to understand why my parents were not able to stay together. The problems went far beyond incompatibility. They were incapable of being there for each other. They each had severe … Continue reading →

What did my fathers teach me? Well, because they were human, they taught me both positive and negative things. It pays to break down what they taught me. Of course, my fifteen years of fathering imparts a few lessons, as well. Here are the lessons, positive and negative mingled: From my biological father – if you have lost your children, for any reason, don’t give up looking for them until you find them. Be ready to respect their differences of opinion – especially if you are very opinionated yourself and/or are from a family of strongly opinionated people. From my … Continue reading →

After my biological parents divorced, my mother’s high school boyfriend came for a visit, proposed, and she married him. I have memories of getting a birthday card from a new grandmother wishing me happy fourth birthday with an elephant beating a drum as I boarded the Amtrak train to Los Angeles, California. My new father and my mother decided to have him adopt me in order to obtain complete custody of me and my sister. Thus I now have birth certificates from two U.S. states. My second father seemed to try harder, and was more consistent. He paid the bills, … Continue reading →

Our son hasn’t always loved reading. When we first tried to read to him he wasn’t interested at all. He’d much rather nurse or sleep with mom. Later on his preference was to be able to hold something that made a noise when he moved it. After that his life was all about rolling around. This progressed to sitting and crawling and eventually standing. Pretty soon he was walking and running and doing all sorts of devious things (like removing books from bookshelves — not to read but to create a mess). As time continued on though he eventually came … Continue reading →

Is there any better way to bond with your son than building stuff? The answer is yes. Breaking stuff! My wife recently bought a very large box of Popsicle sticks to do crafts with my daughter’s club. After the club was over, there were several hundred of them left. My son has recently begun showing an interest in construction, bridges, and skyscrapers. We thought it would be fun to build something together, and he decided that he wanted to build a skyscraper. We had a great time doing it. The first night we just got out paper and pencil and … Continue reading →

Before we talk about a relationship between a father and his son, let’s examine a relationship between two, generic people. The best way to get to know someone that you’ve just met is spending some time alone with them. You talk some, you listen some, and you learn about their life, their likes and dislikes, and their dreams. You don’t even need to be sitting over a cup of coffee to do it. Sharing information back and forth is a great way, in fact the best way, to feel close to someone. Now let’s project this scenario onto a more … Continue reading →