Husbands and Home Births

Shortly before I began dating Tristi, I read Arthur Janov’s book, “Imprints: The Lifelong Effects of the Birth Experience,”and began to understand why having children at home, without drugs, might be helpful to them and their mother. I didn’t necessarily agree with everything Arthur had to say, but his book did open my mind to the possibility that many children don’t need the full hospital interventions that often happen in America. According to Dr. Janov, babies born without drugs, whether at home or not, tend to be less irritable, and grow up with fewer psychological issues. When I asked Tristi … Continue reading →

Fatherhood and Doctor’s Visits

We’ve spent a lot of time in doctors’ offices lately. A chiropractor who does many things other than spine adjustments to treat his patients has discovered and helped many of our family health problems. My wife Tristi was in a wreck that totaled both the semi truck and the Hyundai her friend drove. So we’re experienced with both getting well, and getting vehicles off crowded, icy roads. Visits to doctors’ offices are usually done by the children’s mother. As our family roles change, or as semis are taken out by Hyundais, fathers also get to bring their children to visit … Continue reading →

The Turkey and Cauliflower Story

A single man becoming a married man requires some adjustments. And then when his wife becomes pregnant … he learns to adjust even more. I was a cook in the Air Force and experimented in the kitchen a lot. I also tinkered with chemical formulas in high school and college. I liked inventing original recipes with whatever ingredients were on hand. A small note: very few food dishes prepared by yours truly in my family of origin were popular ones, and I have fond, funny memories of an LDS missionary companion with a rather long nose (only one-eighth of an … Continue reading →

I’m Going to Be a Father?

When my wife, Tristi, told me she was expecting, I have to admit, I wasn’t very positive at first. I had been fired my job ten days before getting married, which was about two months before this, and had no way to support my family. I’d been looking for work ever since. We had moved to a tiny attic apartment close to the place of work that had laid me off, and we then had to pay for additional gas in order to get to other jobs. I didn’t realize this was an opportunity to make good the mistakes my … Continue reading →

What Did My Fathers Teach Me?

What did my fathers teach me? Well, because they were human, they taught me both positive and negative things. It pays to break down what they taught me. Of course, my fifteen years of fathering imparts a few lessons, as well. Here are the lessons, positive and negative mingled: From my biological father – if you have lost your children, for any reason, don’t give up looking for them until you find them. Be ready to respect their differences of opinion – especially if you are very opinionated yourself and/or are from a family of strongly opinionated people. From my … Continue reading →

My Next Chapter

After my biological parents divorced, my mother’s high school boyfriend came for a visit, proposed, and she married him. I have memories of getting a birthday card from a new grandmother wishing me happy fourth birthday with an elephant beating a drum as I boarded the Amtrak train to Los Angeles, California. My new father and my mother decided to have him adopt me in order to obtain complete custody of me and my sister. Thus I now have birth certificates from two U.S. states. My second father seemed to try harder, and was more consistent. He paid the bills, … Continue reading →

Where I Came From

My birth father was sickly and depressed. He had many health problems that his family of origin did not resolve, and the traditional medical community was no help. Because he was not given the chance to improve himself and his life within boundaries he could work with, he was never able to contribute materially to his families, and to society generally. Consequently, he was not able to treat his family members well, although he intended to, and often made efforts in behalf of his children, six of them in two marriages. He could not hold down a job, and eventually … Continue reading →

Who’s Your Daddy?

We all have a father of some sort. We could not exist if we didn’t. How fathers relate to us affects us for the rest of our lives. This can be very positive—think of the effects of fathers such as the biblical Abraham on his son Isaac, who also was an outstanding personality. Albert Einstein’s father gave his son a magnetic compass when he was ill and changed the course of history by engrossing Albert in physics. The stories A.A. Milne and J.R.R. Tolkien wrote for their children and grandchildren, such as Winnie the Pooh and The Hobbit, are considered … Continue reading →

Prepared Father?

Becoming a father was not foremost on my mind when I was growing up. Even the thought of beginning a relationship with a member of the opposite sex gave me so much stress, I avoided it. And yet I knew I probably would marry and have children, and I wanted certain things for them. I wasn’t much of a Scout, either, for a whole host of reasons, and so didn’t practice the Scout motto “Be Prepared.” This has had some negative effects on my life, as I now see the value of being prepared and the benefits the Boy Scouts … Continue reading →

Scarecrows

I’ve written a lot about scarecrows recently. My son has been infatuated with them ever since we visited an organic apple orchard a few months back. I didn’t think much of it at the time. This was around the time when our son started telling stories. He was remembering things and retelling the tales. He fell down one day and proceeded to tell us the story of how “I fell down!” over and over and over again. After we visited the apple orchard our son began to tell us all about how he “saw scarecrows” at the orchard. It entered … Continue reading →