Top 10 Ways to Tell Your Marriage Is Bellyup

We’ve been talking about ways to improve your marriage, and last week we enjoyed a humorous glimpse of how you can tell if you and your spouse should just be translated now and get it over with. (By the way, if most of the items on that list sounded familiar, I may have to send out a hit squad.) Now, let’s take a look at some sure signs that your marriage is at the other end of the spectrum. 1. You fight so much that when he says he is doing fine, you respond by snapping, “You’re wrong!” before you … Continue reading →

Top 10 Ways to Tell You Have a Perfect Marriage

Every marriage has its ups and downs, right? Sometimes we look at another couple in the church and think, gosh, they are the perfect couple. I wish my spouse and I could be like them. But how do you know if you are one of those mythical folks that others envy? Here are some ways to tell if your marriage is the ideal Mormon one. 1. You don’t just finish each other’s sentences, you start them. 2. Since your children never see the two of you fight (not because you hide it, but because you guys just aren’t fighting), they … Continue reading →

Get Off My Bench!

If you are like most Latter-day Saints I have observed, you probably tend to sit in the same seat every Sunday. Every once in awhile, you walk into the chapel and realize that someone (probably a new person or a visitor) has committed the unpardonable sin – they have sat in your spot! Of course, you don’t want to be rude, but how can you get them to move without looking like a complete and total idiot? 1. Walk over them. Go up to the row and start to sit down, then freeze and say, “Oops, I didn’t see you.” … Continue reading →

The Ten Best Things about the Annual Father Son Campout

This weekend my husband is taking our son on his first father son campout with the stake. While I worry a bit since my son is only two, I know that he will absolutely love it. It’s a chance for him to spend some quality time with his dad. Plus he will get to look at, touch and possibly eat things that I never would allow. This is a timeless tradition that dates back as far as I can possibly remember. It is in May every year. Here are the ten best things about the father son camp outs. 10. … Continue reading →

How to Tell You’re A Mormon Mom

Everyone wants to be a Mormon mom, even if they never admit it. Right? Well, that’s what we tell ourselves. (Suddenly, Goldie Hawn’s line in “Overboard” is running through my head: “Everyone wants to be me!”) Well, Mother’s Day is coming up soon. Here are the top ten ways to tell that you are a real, live LDS mother (you know, as opposed to those fake Mormon Moms walking around out there). 1. You can do amazing and even healthy things with lime jello. 2. You haven’t been able to fast since before your first child was born, due to … Continue reading →

Too Many Kiddos!

(This is my attempt to write a little humor without the list format. The fact that I am providing an intro to clarify that is, of course, a bad sign. Still, I want to make sure no one thinks I am just ranting like a crazy person. I am crazy, I’m just not ranting. Much.) Why is it that wherever I go, people think I have too many kids? I only have four – and the fourth is only a recent addition, so most of my experience comes from three – but from the way people point, gawk, and stare, … Continue reading →

Top 10 Ways to Tell Your LDS Husband Doesn’t Get Being Pregnant

Maybe it is because I’m nine months pregnant, but I am currently very aware that no man will ever quite understand what it means to be pregnant. Oh, they can be sympathetic, supportive, and uplifting, but even the most ideal husband can’t relate to the various physical “joys” that come with carrying a child. Here are some great signs that even your fantastically spiritual Latter-day Saint husband just doesn’t understand. 1. In your last trimester, when you feel too exhausted to move, he asks you to substitute for several weeks as a Primary or Sunday school teacher. 2. He doesn’t … Continue reading →

Top 10 Ways to Tell You’re an LDS Technogeek

After we hooked up my laptop to the television so that we could watch General Conference at home via the Internet, I concluded that my husband and I are both something of a technogeek. Surely I’m not the only person afflicted with this condition. To help others suffering from similar afflictions to identify themselves, I have put together a list. Sadly, I can easily check off most of these as occurring in my life. I even have a few blogs on the subjects at hand! So here it is; the top ten ways you can tell if you, too, are … Continue reading →

Top 10 Ways NOT To Visit Teach!

Visiting teaching is a serious and important calling, and one that should be considered with the utmost gravity. No joking allowed. Over and over we’ve read lessons, listened to talks, and prayerfully considered how we can improve our visiting teaching. Today, however, I’d like to help you by sharing just a few humorous ways NOT to make your service to your sisters a little better. As you evaluate how you are doing with visiting teaching, make sure that you are NOT doing one of these things. If you are, well, I’ll just grateful that you are not my visiting teacher! … Continue reading →

Ten Ways to Know You’ll Never Be Relief Society President

It’s March, the month of the Relief Society birthday! We’re examining the history of several Relief Society presidents. You don’t have to be called to the position to know that this is a time and energy-intensive calling, even on a branch or ward level. Hats off to all of our sisters who serve so diligently and with so much love! Still, there are some callings that you just know you won’t be suitable. Here are ten ways that you can know the Bishop will never call you as the Relief Society President. 1. You take a cup of coffee with … Continue reading →