Three Ms You Don’t Want in Marriage

Yesterday we looked at some Ms to incorporate into marriage. Today I’ve got three Ms you definitely don’t want in your marriage Manipulative We’ve all seen then the wives who manipulate their husbands with tears and emotional blackmail and acts designed to get what they want. We see it in those who manipulate their spouse into doing what they want when they want it, using sex or whatever other means at their disposal to get their own way. Manipulative people often use tactics to make the other person feel guilty, if they don’t comply. They use silent treatment or lies … Continue reading →

Dealing with Marriage Cynicism

I’m starting to get fed up here. I’m not fed up by any means with my husband or my marriage, relatives included, but by all of the marriage cynicism I have been encountering lately. From the best Seller, Eat, Pray Love,” to friends who would rather cohabitant than commit (“marriage is for unenlightened breeders, unless you need a green card.” Don’t shoot the messenger) to married couples who complain about being married. While I really don’t think that everyone should be married, I am struck by how much passion there is against the institution. Where did all of the cynicism … Continue reading →

How Things Change

How things have changed. When Mick and I were children, Christmas morning meant being up early and the neighborhood abuzz with children playing in the streets with their new bike or scooter or toys. It meant children dashing into each other’s houses to compare Christmas presents and share the excitement. On Christmas morning here, as it has been for many Christmases now, there is not child to be seen in the streets, not a sound of laughter and excitement outside. All Mick and I saw and heard was a disgustingly healthy jogger as he passed. In Christmases past, Christmas morning … Continue reading →

“Little Children” and The Loveless Marriage

When I got home last night, my husband was upstairs, still putting the kids to bed. It sounded pretty quiet, but there was still a sleepy mumble or two coming from the bedrooms. I decided to stay downstairs until I knew the kids were asleep, in order not to rouse them. There wasn’t enough time to do much else that wouldn’t make noise, so I grabbed a basket of laundry to fold and popped on the television. A movie was on called Little Children. It seemed pretty interesting, but I soon learned that the main character was in the middle … Continue reading →

Are We Getting Too Used to Marriage Scandals?

From Jon & Kate Gosselin (Plus Eight) to David Letterman, there is hardly a day that goes by without some little nugget of celebrity news that also includes a cheating spouse or some other assault against marriage. Remember Edwards or Sanford? Maybe not too much; we have already moved on from them. There might have been a time when we would have been shocked by such scandals, but today it is different. There is publicity (and not all of it negative) in a marriage scandal. Individuals can admit their mistake, get their fame, promote their book and move on, with … Continue reading →

What Is a No Fault Divorce?

Question: “What is a no-fault divorce, and how is this different from a regular divorce?” You may have heard the term “no fault divorce” before. It seems that most couples who are facing divorce have this term as the “reason” for the divorce. Why? In order to begin divorce proceedings, one member of the marriage must file for divorce. Eventually, if the couple wants to go forward with the divorce, the case will go before a judge who will decide if the divorce will be granted. The spouse who files for divorce must state a reason for desiring a divorce. … Continue reading →

That’s it! I’m Fed Up!

Quite simply I’ve had enough. I am fed up! If you want to know why, read on. No, I’m not fed up with my marriage or Mick. I am fed up with the negative attitude towards marriage, with people taking pot shots, laughing and making negative comments about marriage. I am quite simply fed up with the negative press and comments marriage receives, from acclaimed writers to the average person in the street. Even last night while watching The First Tuesday Book Club there was a quote about marriage which came from the novel by Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa author … Continue reading →

How do You and Your Spouse Rate?

Why men want sex and women need love is the title of a new book out. I admit I haven’t read the book but I couldn’t help wondering if that was a gross over simplification. The book is written by a successful Australian couple. On the site there is an about us link. But about as us tells you nothing about them except what they have achieved in the publishing business and how many best selling books they have and how successful they are in business. It tells you nothing about how long they have been married or what their … Continue reading →

Should You Google Your Ex?

We all do it more than we would like to admit, google people from the past out of curiosity. We want to know how they are doing, Did they get married and have children? Are their parents doing well? I recently got back in touch with pretty much my entire elementary school class, and it was wonderful to reconnect and see how most of us are thriving in our adult lives. But when it comes to ex loves, is reconnecting really a good idea? I think the answer to this question is: it depends. It all depends on where you … Continue reading →

What We Can Learn from Jon & Kate

Forget the other issues of our time. The world is buzzing about the big announcement made last night by Jon and Kate Gosselin, of Jon & Kate Plus Eight. The couple is officially separating from each other and ending their marriage, all of this in front of millions of viewers. But what can we learn about our own marriages from the semi-intimate knowledge of the Gosselin marriage? Communicate I always thought that the interview couch was the most interesting aspect of the show. As each spouse talked about the events of the episode and answered questions, they almost seemed surprised … Continue reading →