Finding Inspiration from Valentine’s

It’s another Valentine’s Day. I’m not sure what Jonathan and I are going to do this year; last year I wrote about how we’ve rarely, if ever, celebrated the holiday. He doesn’t even need to find me any candy hearts, because the box he bought me last year was so big I still have some left over. This year, I do kind of feel inspired to do something special for him. However, I’m not sure if I actually want to do it on Valentine’s Day. I’m still not sure that I like the idea of one day set aside for … Continue reading →

How Do You Define PDA?

Recently my volunteering friends and I discussed PDA (public displays of affection). My two friends talked about their husbands’ discomfort with PDA. Well, I could relate to that: it tends to make a lot of people uncomfortable. But then I learned that what they meant by PDA was hand-holding, hugs, a quick kiss. My one friend said it took her husband years before he would hold her hand in public. The other said that when she and her husband meet up somewhere, when her husband arrives all the other women in the room get a hug, or sometimes even a … Continue reading →

Four Terrifying Marriage Proposals

While surfing on the Internet I found a list of the “scariest marriage proposals” compiled by MSN. Given that this was just before Halloween, I thought they would have a spooky vibe. Well, I was wrong, though they were certainly scary. The four real-life marriage proposals were as follows: 1) A pilot took his girlfriend up for a ride in his small plane, pretended they were crashing, and handed his girlfriend an emergency checklist. His proposal was written on the list: “initiate ring engagement procedure.” 2) A stuntman faked a car crash and his subsequent death. His girlfriend was called … Continue reading →

Searching for That Spark

Yesterday Jon and I were watching one of our television shows. It’s a fantasy action series, but sometimes it contains romance. In this episode, two of the main characters are dating. They call each other first thing in the morning, and the girl guesses what the guy is wearing. She always gets it within two tries. Cue huge groans from the couch. Our displeasure continued for the entire episode, as the couple’s saccharine take on dating persisted. I’ve always been clear: this type of romance, not my cup of tea. While Jon and I were soppier than we are now, … Continue reading →

Laid-Back Anniversaries

It’s our fourth anniversary today. I know that’s not really a milestone (insofar as any year’s anniversary is one); that’ll come next year, with our fifth. But I don’t see us doing anything bigger next year than we’ll do this year. Like with everything else, Jon and I don’t make that big of a deal of our anniversary. We don’t even get each other gifts. That’s something we stopped doing before we were even married. The first year or two we were dating we got each other anniversary presents, but that ceased by the time we graduated from college. I … Continue reading →

Not Always Joined at the Hip

Jon and I started dating in college, and we were far from the only ones in our social circles to do so. Some of the others would make fun of us, giving us couples’ names, like the media does for dating celebrities (our name was Jangela). It never really bothered me, except for one potential interpretation: was there some truth in the fact that I didn’t do much without Jon? Looking back, I think that I had enough friends and enough things going on in my college life that were separate from my boyfriend. But I could see how it … Continue reading →

Planning Special Moments

In the past two weeks I’ve looked at planning romantic moments for your spouse, making them feel special, and how to cope with missing your spouse even when he or she is more or less around. How do all of these things come together? In me trying to plan special things for my husband. Now that Jon has completed grad school I want to do something special for him. Parties he hast to host are too draining for him, so that’s out. I thought of the perfect idea: I’d bake him a cake. Not just any cake, but a black … Continue reading →

Quelling Irrational Romantic Expectations

I have a secret shame: sometimes I expect or want traditional fluffy romance from Jonathan. Yes, it’s a shocker, given how often I soap box against it. The thing is I shouldn’t be ashamed of these occasional urges. The mature response would be that, although most of the time it’s not something I consider necessary or even want, if I believe it’s valid for other people (which I do) I should have no problem accepting that it’s O.K. when I want it, too. I would feel that way if it wasn’t for the form in which these desires for traditional … Continue reading →

The Meeting of the Parents

A friend of ours just got engaged to his girlfriend. We both like her a lot so we’re really happy for them. This past weekend was a big deal for them: the meeting of the families. Both their sets of parents came down to the area for their first official meeting (or possibly their first meeting period; our friends have only been dating for about a year and their families don’t live in the area). “Did you get a chance to ask Rich how it went yet?” I asked Jon. “Nope,” Jon replied with a bit of a grimace. We … Continue reading →

Contrasting Romances in Much Ado About Nothing

Perhaps my favorite example of my type of romance is the Shakespeare play “Much Ado About Nothing.” I like it because it’s a great play (the original romantic comedy), and I admit because a petty part of me likes the legitimacy Shakespeare lends my ideals of romance and marriage. Enter the two couples: the young Claudio and Hero, in starry-eyed infatuation with one another, and the older bickering Beatrice and Benedick, who always try to outdo each other in a war of wits. Benedick and Claudio are soldiers who made the acquaintance of Beatrice and Hero when they stayed at … Continue reading →