When Being ‘In Love’ Is Not Enough

As I’ve read the forums recently it seems a few people in relationships feel unsure about what they should do. They are ‘in love’ but unsure about the commitment of marriage. It prompted me to think that love is not enough. Being is love is great, but sometimes you can be in love with the wrong person. I’ve been in love twice in my life. The first time I was very young, still in my teens. Yes, I was in love with this boy but at the same time I realized one thing – though in love he was not … Continue reading →

Don’t Lust After Your Husband

“Lusting after your spouse is a sin,” our pastor claimed, paraphrasing actually from something he once heard Pope John Paul II once said. My husband and I looked at each other. Uh oh, I immediately thought. I have a healthy appreciation for my husband in that way, and was afraid of what was coming next. I thought that out of all of the people in the world, well, it was okay to be sexually attracted to my husband. But you know, the pastor, and consequently the pope were right. Once I heard the explanation, I had to completely agree that … Continue reading →

The Love and Marriage Experience

Recently one of our family members shared her love and marriage journey with us in a comment. It was a joy to read of her happiness and how thrilled she was that she didn’t settle for second best. Sometimes that can happen. There’s subtle pressure that builds up when all your friends are getting married or in serious relationships, to think what’s wrong with me? To think you need to join the clan and find someone of your own- anyone, so long as you have a partner. When our daughter was young, at times she bemoaned the fact that she … Continue reading →

Expressions of Love

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced it’s the little things in life and in marriage that make all the difference. What sort of things? Here are a few examples from our week. Enjoying an Experience Together The other day Mick and I rose early, got in the car and drove to the nearby beach. There we watched the sun come up and walked along the beach. What a beautiful start to the morning. Of course we snapped photos too to help imprint the time even further in our memory banks. Encouragement and Support On Monday night … Continue reading →

Love That Lasts

Sometimes you just see love in the faces and actions of other married couples. Yesterday was such a day for me. Our choir went to sing for the elderly residents in a local nursing home. I looked out a saw one couple. She was nestled close to him and they were holding hands as they listened to us sing. As we sang The Anniversary Waltz she started to quietly sing along, all the time looking at her husband. You got the feeling it didn’t matter a bit that she was old and wrinkled and that he was old and wrinkled. … Continue reading →

Love and Marriage That Lasts

Can you imagine being married to the same person for 80 years? As you know, I always love finding stories of long marriages that have stood the test of time. So this week I couldn’t resist sharing the story of two marriages that have stood the test of time. Interestingly both marriages are from the same family. Is there a correlation between those two facts? I’d like to think that one has impacted on the other. The first is Lilla and Carmelo Scarcella who met when Lilla was 15. Despite opposition from parents and an enforced wait because of compulsory … Continue reading →

What is Love? Part 2

Yesterday we looked at the idea that love is shown practically in the day to day outworking of the marriage relationship. So, is it worth expending all that time and energy? Yes it is. ‘Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it…It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk everything, you risk even more,’ said Erica Jong. I have to agree. Those who aren’t prepared to risk themselves and be vulnerable for love are missing out on a lot. Real love isn’t dependant … Continue reading →

What is Love?

What is love? Love is not a feeling. Oh it may start out that way. But love shows itself in action, by what it does. I have to disagree with the lines in a favorite movie of mine. Matt Drayton the character played by Spencer Tracey says, in ‘Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,’ ‘The only thing that matters is what they feel, and how much they feel, for each other. And if it’s half of what we felt- that’s everything.’ But it’s not all what they feel. The young couple shows their love by their actions because they’re ready to … Continue reading →

Is Love Conditional?

Do you love your spouse unconditionally? Or is love tied to how they look? One of the posts in the forum recently talked of exactly this- where the man was ‘out of love with his wife’ because of the way she looked. There was another post earlier in the year on a similar topic, where the man claimed to love his wife but did not find her attractive. Although it was from a man, women have encountered the same problem too. Sometimes it can be tied to what they do. Love is conditional upon unrealistic expectations or certain behavior. This … Continue reading →

Acts of Love

When you think of acts of love, perhaps you think of the obvious one like the sexual act, kisses, cuddles and the like. Sure they are important acts of love. But there are others. What constitutes an act of love might well depend on the couple and the circumstances at the time. For example recently Mick attacked our clothes line with a broom and spider spray. He knows I am frightened of spiders and hate the thought of one crawling inside clothes while they are drying in the sunshine. Having been on the receiving end of a spider bite after … Continue reading →