Looking for Mr. (or Mrs.) Right? Attend a Convention

Many of us have found our Prince (or Princess) Charming, but many are still looking for that elusive someone. There are times when it seems our options are limited: we can go to bars, we can hang out at the grocery store, we can accept blind dates, but waiting for fate to work her magic can seem pointless, hopeless, and way too hard. I recently learned about a great convention for singles headed up by Alisa Goodwin Snell, a licensed marriage and family therapist, dating coach, and author of books for singles. She says, “Singles always say that they love … Continue reading →

Quality Time with Your Spouse

A couple of weeks ago, I blogged about the importance of getting away with your spouse. We were about to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary and despite original plans to take this romantic vacation to Maine, it had all blown up because of finances. But in the end I was grateful since it was during the time of the hurricane that we would have been there. The day before our 20th wedding anniversary we went back and forth with ideas on what we could do. We wanted to get away for the entire day but not spend a lot of … Continue reading →

Keeping in Touch

When I was a teenager, I spent a lot of time at a friend’s house. I noticed that her father called her mother every day at lunch time, just to touch base. I thought that was unusual—my mother and father didn’t do that. The other day, I was on the phone with my sister when her cell phone rang. It was her husband, calling to see how her day was going. Now, with some life experience of my own, I thought it was sweet. My husband and I don’t have the luxury of calling each other very often, but we … Continue reading →

The One Who Makes the Difference …

Last week, I had the opportunity to read Minor Adjustments, an LDS fiction novel by Rachael Renee Anderson. The premise is one we’ve heard before—a child is left an orphan, and an unwilling person is chosen as guardian, only to fall in love with the child and decide to follow through. This book, however, brings in a lot of elements that keep it from being mundane. It’s set in the gorgeous land of Australia, the guardian isn’t even related to the child, and there are moments of tenderness and humor throughout. I enjoyed it a lot. There’s one theme throughout … Continue reading →

Fluctuations in Libido

We all know that there are times of the month when a woman’s hormones are higher than others, times when intimacy is the least desired thing on the planet and times when it sounds like a whole lot of fun. But there may be other issues at play as well—for both men and women. Let’s take a look. Some people say that the cycles of the moon very much influence our sex drives. I haven’t interviewed any werewolves for this article, but I can say that I have noticed that my husband seems a little more … amorous … when … Continue reading →

Listen Up, Men – Flirt!

We’ve talked quite a bit about marital intimacy over the last few months, and I have no doubt that as I talk to readers and listen to their questions, we’ll continue to discuss it. Intimacy is one of those topics that create a lot of discussion. Everyone has questions about it, concerns about it—whether they want to share them in public or not. One of the things I hear most often goes something like this: “I wish my husband would flirt with me more often. He only turns flirtatious when he wants to be intimate, and the rest of the … Continue reading →

Do You Give Expecting Something in Return?

I found out from watching “The View” this week that GQ magazine came out with an article about a couple who bargain for sex. He does certain chores in exchange for sex. There are a couple of ways to look at this. If you really want to find something good about it, I guess you can understand how it meets each other’s needs. She needs help around the house and he needs…well, we know the answer to that one. But why does it have to be a bargaining tool? Why can’t couples just meet each other’s needs without it being … Continue reading →

Withholding Intimacy in Marriage

Have you fallen into the trap of withholding physical intimacy from your spouse when things aren’t going your way? Do you ever use it as a bargaining tool or as a punishment? This is destructive to the relationship in so many ways. Sex can bring a couple together, both physically and emotionally, like no other act on earth. When each partner participates with love, with a desire to share with the other person, and with the intent to make it a meaningful experience, it can be an amazing balm to the relationship. The husband and wife both feel more peaceful … Continue reading →

Do You Schedule Intimacy?

I’m not talking about making time for your spouse. I’m not talking about keeping your romantic relationship a top priority. I’m talking about setting a day on the calendar when you plan to have sex with your spouse. I kid you not, I know people like this. They literally have sex on Monday and Thursday nights right after the husband’s favorite television programs are over. I am, quite frankly, agog at this notion. Okay, I can see that in some ways, for some people, it might work. Maybe their lives are super hectic and that’s the only night when he’s … Continue reading →

What Being Married Means

You wonder what being married means to some people. At least I do, especially when I see the way people behave towards their supposed love one and the lack of time and concern put into their marriage. This attitude towards marriage is reflected in our movies and TV programs. Recently while watching a program, which I’m not going to name because it is inherent in many of our TV shows, I thought how different the attitude there towards marriage is to mine. Obviously it is different to Tristi’s too after reading her latest blog. Notice what she’s thinking about and … Continue reading →