I have a secret shame: sometimes I expect or want traditional fluffy romance from Jonathan. Yes, it’s a shocker, given how often I soap box against it. The thing is I shouldn’t be ashamed of these occasional urges. The mature response would be that, although most of the time it’s not something I consider necessary or even want, if I believe it’s valid for other people (which I do) I should have no problem accepting that it’s O.K. when I want it, too. I would feel that way if it wasn’t for the form in which these desires for traditional … Continue reading →

Perhaps my favorite example of my type of romance is the Shakespeare play “Much Ado About Nothing.” I like it because it’s a great play (the original romantic comedy), and I admit because a petty part of me likes the legitimacy Shakespeare lends my ideals of romance and marriage. Enter the two couples: the young Claudio and Hero, in starry-eyed infatuation with one another, and the older bickering Beatrice and Benedick, who always try to outdo each other in a war of wits. Benedick and Claudio are soldiers who made the acquaintance of Beatrice and Hero when they stayed at … Continue reading →

One of the reasons why I often like to facilitate discussion about my type of romance is because I feel that it isn’t represented much in the media. We draw some ideas of our cultural norms from the media, so others like me might be led to feel that they’re not normal. Interestingly, one of the most famous examples of my type of romance, or at least extolling against silly romance, is often misinterpreted: “Romeo & Juliet.” People will call an ideal male lover a “Romeo,” when in fact that was the opposite of what Shakespeare intended. Shakespeare liked to … Continue reading →

A geeky way Finally after three articles where I dance around the subject, I’m going to explain my version of romance and how it functions in my marriage. I dithered on expounding for a while because I wasn’t sure how to articulate it, which given my usual propensity for words is telling. I’m not even sure when my view on romance began to shift. When I first started dating Jonathan, I had what would be considered a more traditional view on how to approach love. As I matured it changed, influenced I’m sure in no small part by my husband’s … Continue reading →

I was in a car accident on December 2nd, and I’m probably going to be under my doctor’s care for quite a while. Yesterday we started physical therapy. I’m grateful to be getting the care I need, but it’s taking so much time away from my family, and in particular, my husband. I see my kids during the day because we homeschool, but my husband is at work all day, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m even still married. I think I am, but sometimes, it is a question. He comes home and I’m gone, and then when I … Continue reading →

We’ve talked quite a bit about marital intimacy over the last few months, and I have no doubt that as I talk to readers and listen to their questions, we’ll continue to discuss it. Intimacy is one of those topics that create a lot of discussion. Everyone has questions about it, concerns about it—whether they want to share them in public or not. One of the things I hear most often goes something like this: “I wish my husband would flirt with me more often. He only turns flirtatious when he wants to be intimate, and the rest of the … Continue reading →

You wonder what being married means to some people. At least I do, especially when I see the way people behave towards their supposed love one and the lack of time and concern put into their marriage. This attitude towards marriage is reflected in our movies and TV programs. Recently while watching a program, which I’m not going to name because it is inherent in many of our TV shows, I thought how different the attitude there towards marriage is to mine. Obviously it is different to Tristi’s too after reading her latest blog. Notice what she’s thinking about and … Continue reading →

Women surprise their husbands more than men surprise their wives. Would you agree with this statement? While, playing tennis I commented to my female tennis partner that I could see what my husband on the other side of the court was doing. Yes this was a bit of a challenge match, women against the guys. ‘I can see what Mick’s doing,’ I said to my partner. ‘He’s serving right down the T to cut out the angle on my return shots.’ ‘That’s what happens when you’ve been married as long as each of us has. We know how they think,’ … Continue reading →

I’m excited. The wedding ring is back. Yes, my husband was able to pick up his resized ring last week. It’s all lovely and shiny and back on his finger where it belongs. ‘Look how beautiful and shiny yours is compared to mine,’ I said putting my hand next to his. ‘No problem. We can polish your rings up for you,’ the young sales assistant offered. ‘You could, but only if it could be done on my finger. They won’t come off,’ I said. ‘They’ve been there too long.’ As well as getting his wedding ring resized, Mick got a … Continue reading →