Avoiding the Unpleasant

We’ve probably all had the experience at some stage of finding certain people rub us up the wrong way. Undoubtedly then we try and avoid them. We make sure we don’t get into conversation with them, or we’re always busy and have something else we need to do or somewhere else we need to be when they are around. We avoid those people and the circumstances which we find unpleasant. It can even happen that we start to void and pull away from our spouse, especially if it is starting to be an unpleasant experience. For example if you are … Continue reading →

Drop From the Marriage Vocabulary

There are some things you never want to say to your spouse, because they are the type of things that can have serious effects. Three little words that should be dropped from the marriage vocabulary are, ‘never,’ ‘always,’ and ‘only.’ Imagine how your spouse feels if you tell them, ‘you never say the right things,’ or ‘you never do what I want.’ Now I’m sure if you thought about it long enough you’d realize what you mean is right at this moment you are not saying or doing what I want you to. If you tell them they never say … Continue reading →

How the Jones Can Hurt Your Marriage

Sometimes outside influences can have a negative impact on your marriage. Just think of relationships with extended family, for example. Sometimes people who aren’t even close to you can be harmful to your marriage. Neighbors and even friends of friends can put stress on your marriage. You probably have heard the expression, “Keeping up with the Jones.” This basically means trying to maintain the same lifestyle or level of possessions as those around you, whether you can afford it or not. It may also include social, political and spiritual choices as well. There are several problems with trying to keep … Continue reading →

Dealing With An Opinionated Spouse

Dealing with an opinionated spouse can present problems. No, I’m not married to one who is opinionated. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an opinion on things, but those things he does hold strong opinions about are not usually a problem as we tend to share those opinions. But I know people who are married to an opiniated spouse and it’s interesting to see how they deal with it. Largely I’ve observed that the one who is married to an opinionated spouse does one of several things. Some become so quiet; they hardly open their mouth in mixed company or … Continue reading →

Solutions For Getting Gifts You Like From Your Spouse.

Yesterday we looked at the problems surrounding gifts and your spouse and how sometimes it can end up so wrong. Here are some simple solutions to getting gifts you like from your spouse. When shopping point out and admire things in the shops that you would like or in the catalogues mark things that you would like and leave it lying somewhere your spouse will see it. Or just give it to them and say, ‘if you’d like some ideas.’ Provide a suggestion list of things you would like complete with the name of the store where they can be … Continue reading →

Goal Setting and Marriage

It’s always interesting to hear or read about other people and what works in their marriages. We can often pick up tips and ideas we can incorporate to improve our own. Yesterday I read a blog by the wife of a footballer, talking about goals, not the goals scored in football although that did come into it a little, but setting goals in your life. Goal setting is something she said she learned from her husband who is big on the idea of goal setting. It gave me something to think about. Often when we get married we set goals … Continue reading →

When You Want to Take Over

One of my characteristics as a person is that I like to have things in control. I like stability, comfort and knowing what is around the corner. This can be both a positive thing and a negative thing. It can be positive when it motivates me to stay organized and get things done or make good decisions after doing all of the needed research. It can be bad, however, when I get upset when I can’t control things that can’t be or shouldn’t be controlled or when I nag my husband practically to death. I recently learned this lesson in … Continue reading →

Positives and Negatives of Stubbornness

Some qualities have a positive as well as a negative side to them. Stubbornness is one of those. The person who is stubbornly set in their ways and so rigid in their thinking that they never listen to anyone else, or consider the needs of others is hard to deal with and hard to live with. I’m inclined to think we all have a little stubbornness in our make up but it is hard to maintain a relationship with a severely stubborn person. However the areas where we need to be stubborn in our marriage is in our commitment to … Continue reading →

What Does it Mean to Be Head of the Household?

What does it mean to be the head of the household? That’s the question someone raised recently in response to an earlier blog written by someone else on this site. In this blog I’m going to try and answer what it means for a marriage for someone to be the head of the household. Let me start by saying what I don’t think it means. It doesn’t mean that one person is in charge and rules everything that happens in the marriage. I don’t believe, as the last person who commented did, that it means the head of the household’s … Continue reading →

More Ways to Save and Benefits of Living on One Income

Yesterday we looked at some ways to save money while living on one income. Here are some more benefits of living on one income and ways to save money. Buy generic products. This might include pharmaceuticals which are often cheaper than the brand names as well as grocery items. Just a word of caution on this: If you or your spouse is watching your weight, sometimes the generic product has a higher calorie or sugar content, so check labels carefully. It’s really a bit of trial and error. We buy a lot of generic products but on some, I definitely … Continue reading →