I was asked by someone if it’s ever possible to love the person who cheated on you the same as you did before the affair. My answer in short was, “No.” With every experience in life, consequences occur. Your life evolves as you come to a new experience. Your life isn’t the same after each episode of your life places because you must adjust to accommodate the changes in your life. When a spouse cheats, it changes the marriage. It changes the way the marriage was before the affair. You can’t go back in time and change what has happened. … Continue reading →

As a relationship coach, I speak to many people about their relationship with their spouse. I had one person come to me recently cheating on her husband. She wanted to find out how she can cope with the affair. At first, I thought she wanted to know what she should. I quickly learned that she didn’t want to do anything with the situation, she just wanted to feel better about having the affair. Her reasoning for the affair was that she was not happy with her husband. While she didn’t want to divorce him, she also didn’t want to be … Continue reading →

It’s all around us every single day. Go to the grocery store, look at the magazines and you’ll see at least one reference to cheating. Turn on the television and you’ll soon hear about someone cheating on someone else or see the act in some show or movie. It doesn’t ever go away. The only possible way to avoid the reality of a world of cheaters is to shut yourself up in a cave and never come out again. But then again, your thoughts would still remind you of how cruel some people can be to one another. I often … Continue reading →

Infidelity kills trust. Not only does it kill it but it buries it under a mountain of dirt. To bring trust back up to the surface and build it to the heights it was before the affair, boundaries must be set in place. The Reason for Boundaries Boundaries are for the person who has been deceived. It protects them from feeling suspicion that their partner is cheating again. It also shows the adulterer there are consequences to his actions. What Boundaries to Place Many of the boundaries you set will be based on many of the signs you saw when … Continue reading →

Many times, when someone commits adultery, they will remove their wedding ring. It just simply gets taken off their finger without a second thought to the meaning behind the ring. When a spouse finds out that infidelity has been committed and the ring they vowed on was just easily taken off to break the vow, the wedding ring may never mean the same again. What the wedding ring signified is no longer in effect. The wedding vow has been broken and so has the significance of the wedding ring, right? Not So Fast – What If It Means Something Else … Continue reading →

Many spouses who have been betrayed by infidelity will struggle between morality and faith when deciding whether or not they should stay to repair their marriage. Most of the time, morality and faith don’t align and that can make the situation extremely difficult. A Cause for Morality Everyone knows that infidelity is morally wrong. Society has taught us that if you cheat, you are bad. They also have taught us that when someone cheats on you, it means you have to leave him or her. Now, if we think about what we’ve learned our whole life, we find that society … Continue reading →

I was watching TV with my husband the other night and I was so upset over all the mentions of infidelity in the matter of only a few minutes. We were watching The Office and if you watch this show, you know that Jim is going on the business trip to Florida with everyone and so is the intern. Of course, you see her on the phone with someone saying that his relationship with Pam isn’t going well, even though they just had a new baby, and that she believes they will hook up on the trip. Then there is … Continue reading →

If you just found out your husband is cheating you may wonder what in the world you are going to do now. He might tell you that he doesn’t want to lose you and that he wishes he had never done it, but how do you know for sure? You don’t want to be one of those women who stays with their husband while he continues to cheat but at the same time, what if he really does mean it and won’t ever cheat on you again? You don’t want to walk away from a marriage that you’ve been faithful … Continue reading →

When your spouse is cheating on you, it can see as though you are going up and down and all around with his affair. At one moment he wants to leave and then he wants to stay. He doesn’t know whether he is coming or going and you don’t either. This roller coaster type of situation can leave you exhausted and emotional numb. You don’t know whether you should be depressed, excited at the prospect that he’ll come back to you, or ready to just move on. How to Deal with the Roller coaster To cope with the roller coaster … Continue reading →