Married with Children – A Disruption Of Life?

As a married woman and a parent, I have to admit there have been times when I resented the inference that having a child is disruptive of normal life. Though, if you talk to many parents – some seem to feel that way that the married life they enjoyed ends when they have children and is unlikely to resume until their children have grown and left the household again. Children are a Blessing I know I’ve had this argument with my own husband a time or two. The argument involves the fact that we are very different since our daughter … Continue reading →

Can We Be a Family of Two?

It is part of our culture to assume that when two people get married, they will have children. From our earliest youth we are taught this is the way it is with songs like: John and Mary, kissing in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G First comes love Then comes marriage Then comes John and Mary with a baby carriage. However, there is nothing wrong with the couple that makes the choice to forgo parenthood. While there are some who may disagree with me, the idea of a couple deliberately electing to be childless may be non-conformist, but it isn’t abnormal. Why Would … Continue reading →

How Do We Know If We Are Ready for Kids?

Earlier, I talked about when your spouse doesn’t want a child. I’d like to look at the other side of the coin now and discuss how do you know if you’re ready for kids. My husband and I have discussed having a second child for a long time and the interesting thing is that the discussions surrounding our second child are very similar to the discussions we had about our first child. It’s amazing that our perspective, though adjusted for child number one is still here for child number 2. When we found out I was pregnant the first time … Continue reading →

My Spouse Doesn’t Want a Child

Your spouse doesn’t want to have a child, but you do and while you both feel strongly about your position – neither of you wants to see the other one hurt or burdened by the other’s wants and needs. That being said, it’s important to understand that if you are discussing having a child and you are both not fully committed to having one – then you are making a mistake for both your marriage and your child. Now before someone gets mad at me and says that their spouse didn’t want a child, but it worked out – understand … Continue reading →

Marriage and Foster Parenting

The decision to take in foster children is a very noble one. These children typically have behavioral disorders and need all the love and attention you can give them. Be sure your marriage is rock solid before you make the commitment. These kids have been pushed around and many have lived with several foster parents, don’t make the same mistake mine did by thinking that I’d be so grateful that someone wanted me that I wouldn’t cause any trouble. My foster parents were several years apart, the May-December wedding, if you will. My foster mother was only 27 (I was … Continue reading →

Marriage and the Foster Parent

Standards of Comparison: Housewife versus Stay At Home Mom

Over the last couple of days, I’ve been talking about the career wife versus the housewife. Now, I want to take the matter a little further. This is about the relationship dynamic and frankly the prejudice that exists now about the housewife, not the stay at home mom – but the housewife who elects to stay home whether there are children involved or not. Most of us who have commented on these issues over the last few days have all been moms, but what about the housewife who doesn’t have children. Forty years ago, when a woman married – most … Continue reading →

Planning to be Married with Children?

First comes love Then comes marriage Then comes a baby in a baby carriage. – Child’s Limerick There are lots of trials in the early days of marriage, but when couples have worked out the wrinkles, they experience a time period of almost carefree whim. You might both be working so the financial burden is pretty low. You can eat out every night, go to the movies, pick up and go on a quick weekend trip with few responsibilities and obligations to hold you back. It’s a great time for you to go back to school or even change careers. … Continue reading →

Married Life Without Children

Married life is fulfilling in itself. Some people want to add children to their lives, and some don’t. Those who decide not to, have a great opportunity to live a fulfilled life, loving and providing for their spouse’s needs. Married life without children is great. I happen to be among the childless (by choice) and have been married for close to 18 years. I’ve never had the desire to have children and neither has my husband. We have many friends who have children and a few who don’t. It does get tough around friends who have children and don’t understand … Continue reading →

Childless Couples

For many married couples, having children is something that they believe in and something they’ve always wanted, but for others, it’s neither an option nor even a desire. Some couples go into a marriage knowing one or both persons are unable to conceive. For others, the choice is not to have children. Is such a choice a bad thing? There are many reasons not to have children, but even in today’s society, it’s not a popular choice. People who choose not to conceive or adopt may be viewed as selfish, yet one can build a case of selfishness against couples … Continue reading →