Wedding Rings and Gender Roles, Pt. 2

Last time I examined the discussion over whether or not men should have to wear wedding rings. Just about all of the arguments either for or against skipped one relevant consideration: whether or not women should have to or even enjoy wearing them. Only one article I found briefly acknowledged the idea: the author said that neither of her parents has worn a wedding ring for decades, for a variety of reasons. That’s all we’ve got: in the wedding rings debate we have in-depth considerations of male class traditions, shifting perspectives of masculinity, and a man’s role in a marriage, … Continue reading →

Wedding Rings and Gender Roles, Pt. 1

The practice of wearing wedding rings has roots in ancient Egypt. The Egyptians might have believed that circles represent eternity, fitting for a marriage vow. Wearing the rings on our left hand dates to the Roman era: Romans apparently believed that the fourth finger on our left hands had a vein that went directly to the heart. While women have worn wedding (and engagement) rings for centuries, the practice of men donning the former only dates to the 20th century. Some sources speculate that it had to do with World War II: men started wearing the rings while deployed, as … Continue reading →

The Trouble with Statistics

Sometimes statistics can be wrong, or at least misleading. That is, if we compare them to people we know. For example I read recently the ten important research findings from a national marriage project conducted by David Popenoe, Ph.D. The very first one says ‘Marrying as a teenager is the highest known risk factor for divorce.’ Maybe these days when children are at school longer and are not out in the work force as some of us, our parents or grandparents were early on, this would be the case. But if you look at a lot of people who have … Continue reading →

Ticking all the Boxes

It’s often interesting to ask the question, ‘Why did you get married?’ In these days when so many couples live together without being married, you might well wonder, then why get married at all? According to Andre Cherlin, Sociologist at John Hopkins University,’getting married is a way to show family and friends that you have a successful personal life. It’s like the ultimate merit badge.’ For many people it’s a case of ticking all the boxes. Recently a young woman I know would not go back to a school reunion because, in her own eyes, she was a failure and … Continue reading →

What’s in a Name?

What’s in a name? Quite a lot apparently. According to a recent study men with certain names are more likely to end up heart problems, diabetes or other diseases. Sounds incredible? It’s not the first time recently, that I have been confronted by research aiming to show that names affect our personalities and lives in sometimes dire ways. So if your husband is named Brian, Colin or Alan then according to the survey conducted using data from the last 80 years, they have a 47 per cent chance of having high blood pressure. Men called Simon, Mark or Kevin only … Continue reading →

The Other Side of the Picture

I’m convinced that how successful and lasting a marriage is comes back to several things. One is choosing the right person and thinking it through logically and carefully before you embark on marriage. The other is, as Mary Ann suggested, each one’s attitude towards marriage and commitment to it. Now it’s time to spend time apart says reality TV star Heidi Montag. Since I never watch reality TV, I know nothing about this woman or Spencer Pratt, her husband, apart from the article. Mick’s comment when he suggested this was something I might use was, ‘it sounds like the reality … Continue reading →

Living Together Before Marriage

Living together before marriage is very common in today’s society. It almost seems to be the expected thing these days. I’ve heard people say its better to try it first and see whether you’re suited. But living together is not as good a test as some people might like to think. In fact statistics show those who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who don’t. I’ve had friends who have lived together before marriage and translated that to a successful marriage. I also know those who have lived together and then, as soon as marriage … Continue reading →

Should You Keep Your Maiden Name?

After a couple decides to get married, there are often many, many decisions to make. Along with where to live and how many guests to have at the ceremony, many brides wrestle over whether or not to keep a maiden name or to adopt the name of her husband. (Even in the this age of women’s lib, not many men feel that they have to contemplate changing their own last names, although most marriage licenses include the option of a name change for either spouse.) There are a number of reasons to keep a maiden name, and a number of … Continue reading →

What Makes People Get Married?

What makes people get married? From comments I’ve had recently on certain articles and from discussions in the forum, I have to wonder what makes people get married. When I read or listen to what some people say about their spouse, I have to wonder why they married them at all. Did the person change so much after they were married as though had been putting up a front and then suddenly let down their guard? Did they not take enough time to get to know the person and went solely on a physical attraction – more lust than love? … Continue reading →

It’s Complicated Or Is It?

Yesterday I heard a young married woman holding forth about the reasons why she won’t go to see a recently released movie. The prime reason is because in her words, ‘it makes a mockery of marriage.’ She doesn’t want to support any movie making venture that makes a mockery of marriage. This young woman has been married only a few years. In her own words she is still on her L plates when it comes to marriage, but it seems to me that she’s got something right. She considers marriage to be something sacred and about forever love, not here … Continue reading →