What Is Your Marriage Teaching Your Children?

An often overlooked area in a marriage is the influence it has upon the children. Have you ever really thought about the message you are sending your children concerning marriage? Marriage isn’t just about two people if you have children. Your marriage is a huge factor in decisions they will make in the future, including what to look for in a mate. How you treat your spouse speaks volumes to our children. If boys see their father as an overbearing, cruel husband…what do you think is going to happen when that little boy grows up? If girls see their mothers … Continue reading →

Holidays, Travel, and Family Expectations

Holidays can be tricky for anyone, in any family situation. Married couples without kids, however, face a special conundrum: with whom to spend the day(s)? Again, this can be tough for anyone, but childless marrieds face a particular pressure: you don’t have kids, so it falls to you to drive sometimes long distances to attend the family get-together. Of course that returns us to the initial question: with whose family do we spend the holidays? We pick one side of the family for Thanksgiving and the other for Easter, because Jon’s parents and my parents live far enough away from … Continue reading →

How Much More?

I believe I mentioned how when my oldest son broke his hand last October that no one in my husband’s family called to talk to him. We talked to the extended family and told them how upset he was that no one from that side of the family called him to check on him. Not one time during the 8 weeks that he was in a cast did his grandparents, aunt or uncle on my husband’s side called him to check on him. They all said they did not think it was important to call and check on him and … Continue reading →

Hard Questions Are Coming

My husband and I have to make some hard decisions very soon. We are going to ask a few questions of our in laws. We already asked it of my sister in law and she refuses to answer. The question is straight and to the point. “Given the fact that we will not participate in a family Christmas get together again because of how the kids and us felt uncomfortable. Where do they see the relationship between our family and them?” It seems pretty straight forward I think but it will be a hard question. If they say that they … Continue reading →

Christmas in February

Well we made it through a few hours with my in laws and there was no blood or tears shed. When we got in the car and were driving home we asked the kids how they felt that the day went. The car was quiet. If you know our kids you would know that it is not very common for them all to be quiet at the same time. We knew what was going on that the kids did not want to say anything that may hurt my husband’s feelings. My husband was nice and spoke up telling the kids … Continue reading →

Diamonds Do Not Equal Love

When I first started at the Marriage Blog I mentioned my feelings on diamond commercials and promised to expound on them. Given that we see many such ads this time of year, it seems like an appropriate time to make my promised follow-up. I’m not a big jewelry person so diamonds never appealed to me. That wouldn’t really be a big deal, except that for my entire life I’ve been inundated by ads and assumptions telling me the opposite. “So what?” you might wonder. Well, the media can have a much more powerful effect, subtle though it might be, on … Continue reading →

Finally an Invitation

The kid were excited that we were going to the in laws but they were a bit nervous too which we totally get. We were nervous too especially we know how hard conversations have been and sitting together may be even harder. We need to have a hard conversation with my mother and father in law and it is coming soon. We need to know if they plan on having a relationship with our family going forward. Being told that they are too busy to see their son and his family before February is ridiculous but this is where we … Continue reading →

Finally Got An Invitation

If you have been reading my marriage blog you know about my in law drama. There are a couple of new developments. In case you have not read my entries before let me give you a quick 411. We have a very strained relationship with my in laws and they tend to not really want to do anything with our family or our kids. Last Christmas season we tried to set a date with my mother and father in law to do a gift exchange and just spend some time with them. My mother in law said that she had … Continue reading →

No Expectations for Me on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Are you already setting yourself up with certain expectations? Perhaps you have dropped some hints to your spouse or come right out and said what you would like. The thing with Valentine’s Day is that it can actually become very “me” focused when it is supposed to be about the one you love. When we think about this day where we celebrate love, we should be putting effort into how we can express it toward our spouse…not what they can do for us. Personally, I don’t make a very big deal about Valentine’s … Continue reading →

I Was Wrong

Well this does not happen too often, but I was wrong they did not do my mother-in-law’s birthday last weekend like I thought they would. They called to do it this coming Saturday, normally that would be great but there are a couple of things wrong. First my daughter Rebecca is now doing cheering for the local YMCA and has her first game on Saturday and we cannot be in two places at once. The second reason is that we still have had no contact with my brother or sister-in-law. The last time they spoke to anyone in our family … Continue reading →