The Arts and Marriage

How often do you and your husband attend an arts event? You know what I mean; an art show, a play, a musical evening or a poetry reading? From what I see around me I’m guessing it would not be all that often. Last week we went to a play Romeo and Juliet and then on Saturday night Mick and I went to a musical gig with the Janet Seidel Trio. Janet is a jazz singer and we both thoroughly enjoyed the evening. The music was fabulous. Other times Mick and I have gone to poetry readings. He’s not greatly … Continue reading →

Taking Each Other for Granted

‘Everything’s getting quicker these days, even infidelity,’ Mick said when I told him about a recent article which had discovered it was no longer a seven year itch but a three year glitch. However infidelity isn’t the reason for these couples splitting up. Rather than infidelity, a recent survey has found it is about that three year period where couples start to take each other for granted. And what are the things that are causing them to get disenchanted with their partner? Such things as ‘weight gain, stinginess, and toe-nail clippings on the bathroom floor and snoring’ are among the … Continue reading →

When Your Tastes Differ

One of the things that can be a problem when you are first married is combining different tastes in a household. Apparently others have recognized this can present a problem as they are intending making a show about it. As a person who abhors reality TV, I could think of nothing worse than watching it but I’m sure others won’t agree and will watch. But what can you do if you don’t like some of the stuff your loved ones brings with them? A lot depends on how important the items are to them and how attached they are to … Continue reading →

Disasters and Marriage

Disasters affect relationships in one of two ways. They can bring a couple closer together as they cling to each other for support and comfort and love. Or they can produce so much anger that people turn against each other and take out their frustrations on those closest to them. This is eyes exactly what is happening in Christchurch. Reports show ‘domestic violence has surged by 50 percent after a major tremor rocked New Zealand’s second city last September.’ That tremor was ‘the prelude to Tuesday’s quake that left at least 123 dead and destroyed parts of the city centre.’ … Continue reading →

Have a Heart This Valentine’s Day

At present our letterbox is inundated with store catalogues trying to convince us of the need to buy jewelry, sexy underwear, chocolates and all sorts of things for Valentine’s Day. However some people, celebrities among them, have taken a whole different approach to Valentine’s Day. Singer and former Australian Idol winner, Guy Sebastian and his wife Jules will share their love with the Red Cross. Guy and Jules are encouraging Australians, ’to treat their loved ones to a Red Cross Valentine’s donation and really make Valentine’s Day count by giving a life changing gift to someone in need.’ Valentine’s Day … Continue reading →

Celebrating National Marriage Week

Did you know that it’s National Marriage Week? It goes from February 7th through the 14th, Valentine’s Day. I love the fact that we have an entire week to recognize and celebrate something so very important. So what is the point to National Marriage Week? It is to build a stronger marriage culture since it has been found that healthy marriages can reduce the risk of poverty and benefit children in a number of ways. It is also a way to encourage married people to do what they can to strengthen their marriages and thereby, reducing the rate of divorce. … Continue reading →

The Trouble with Statistics

Sometimes statistics can be wrong, or at least misleading. That is, if we compare them to people we know. For example I read recently the ten important research findings from a national marriage project conducted by David Popenoe, Ph.D. The very first one says ‘Marrying as a teenager is the highest known risk factor for divorce.’ Maybe these days when children are at school longer and are not out in the work force as some of us, our parents or grandparents were early on, this would be the case. But if you look at a lot of people who have … Continue reading →

Take That Time

The secret to a long and happy marriage according to a local couple, Betty and Ernest, who recently celebrate their sixtieth wedding anniversary is, ’it’s not easy. Particularly during those years of child rearing,’ Betty said. That’s the reality. Although children are a great blessing and I wouldn’t be without either of mine for one moment, they can put extra pressure on a marriage. This may be even more noticeable if children are close together in age. They will take up a lot of time. Sometimes it means one or the other or both of the couple are busy doing … Continue reading →

Accommodating Family

Christmas for us was a special time with family gathered together under one roof. Our daughter and son-in- law and daughter came down and then our son and his wife and three children. For part of the time their stays overlapped so it meant a full house. We ended up with beds in the living room and a cot in my study as well as all the bedrooms in use. So yes, it was a bit squashed as our house is not all that large, but so what? Everyone was happy to put up with it so that we could … Continue reading →

Ticking all the Boxes

It’s often interesting to ask the question, ‘Why did you get married?’ In these days when so many couples live together without being married, you might well wonder, then why get married at all? According to Andre Cherlin, Sociologist at John Hopkins University,’getting married is a way to show family and friends that you have a successful personal life. It’s like the ultimate merit badge.’ For many people it’s a case of ticking all the boxes. Recently a young woman I know would not go back to a school reunion because, in her own eyes, she was a failure and … Continue reading →