It wasn’t that long ago I was having a conversation with a woman who has been married for less than a year. We got on the topic of how marriage changes, something she didn’t quite believe. I remember being there. You think it will always be full of passion and you will always put each other’s needs first. Everything your spouse does is cute. Well here is the reality. It won’t always be full of passion because sometimes you will be exhausted at the end of a long day. You won’t always put your spouse’s needs first, especially when the … Continue reading →

One of the things couples fail to realize is that many marriage problems stem from a lack of time. You see, it takes quality time to nurture a relationship. If you are spending more time at your job or with your kids, then your marriage is bound to suffer. Now don’t get me wrong, different seasons in life require more attention than others. For instance, when my children were young they naturally required more of my time and attention. But even then, it didn’t necessarily mean my husband only deserved the leftovers. Time can’t always be measured in quantity. It … Continue reading →

With so many marriages ending in divorce, it can leave you to wonder, “What makes a marriage work?” Now I am by no means an expert but I will very soon be celebrating 21 years of marriage, so hopefully I can provide at least some encouragement. Let me start off by saying this. I will never tell someone, “I have been happily married for 20 years.” That would be a lie. While there definitely has been more happiness than not, mixed in have been times where I wondered if we would make it. To pretend otherwise doesn’t really do any … Continue reading →

There are certain stages and circumstances in life that a married couple goes through in which the relationship is tested. While everyday can certainly be a test and an indicator of the strength of your relationship, some life events seem to bring out what truly lies underneath. One of the earliest circumstances I can remember my marriage being greatly tested in is about a year after we had our first child. I was pregnant with our second child when in the third month I miscarried. We each handled things very differently. Because of that, there were times we just weren’t … Continue reading →

There are some things I say before having a “discussion” with my spouse that are sure to get things off on the wrong foot. Take for instance this one, “You never.” I have come a long way in not using those words. But I remember how batty they used to drive my husband. How could I possibly take one moment, one experience and turn it into “you never”? It was unfair and exaggerated. Another terrible way to start a discussion is with this: “I told you this would happen.” The words “I told you” are very demeaning. They sound like … Continue reading →