Finding Understanding

As wonderful as my marriage is, and as much as my husband and I love each other, sometimes he honestly doesn’t understand what I’m saying to him. I’ll ask him to do something, he’ll miss a crucial step or explanation, things go terribly awry, and then he says he didn’t hear that part or didn’t understand that part of the conversation. This last weekend, I actually had thoughts of beating him with my water bottle, I was so frustrated. But then I calmed down and we sat down to talk. I asked my husband to help me understand how I … Continue reading →

Being Sensitive to Your Spouse’s Needs

My husband gets a little uptight on the freeway. He tenses up, changes lanes, and then says unkind things about the other drivers. Then he’ll calm down again, only to do it all over again a few minutes later. I can’t see what’s stressing him out, but something is. The driver can usually see more than the passenger anyway. This quirkiness of driving shouldn’t really annoy me, but it does. Sixteen years ago, I was in a car accident, and freeway driving makes me nervous in the first place. I’m glad it’s him driving, and not me—in fact, I have … Continue reading →

Our Own Unique Languages

Every person has their own unique language. It comes from the way they were raised, books they’ve read, experiences they’ve had—everything influences the way they see the world around them, and they will have their own ways of expressing their thoughts, feelings, and desires. When you are in a relationship with someone, you’ll find the greatest happiness of success in your relationship if you learn to speak their language, and if they learn to speak yours. If something goes wrong with your current relationship and you find yourself in another down the road, you will need to learn that person’s … Continue reading →

Communicating Maturely

Several years ago, I saw a television talk show featuring a woman who would use a baby voice and whine whenever she wanted her husband to do something. They showed a clip of her doing just that, and wow. It was downright annoying. The host spent some time trying to convince her to speak to her husband differently, but she was reluctant. After all, he did everything she wanted, and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right? Conversely, I’ve observed women take a harsh disciplinary tone with their husbands, sounding more like cranky mothers than life partners. I’ve seen … Continue reading →

Could You Trust Your Husband?

I wonder how many Mother’s Day, anniversary or birthday presents husbands have bought for their wives end up tucked away in the back of a cupboard, never to see the light of day or on their way back to the shop? Could you trust your husband to buy you an item or clothing, a handbag, a piece of jewelry, a CD or book you would like? Mick constantly astounds friends and acquaintances of ours by being able to buy clothes for me that not only fit but look nice, that I feel comfortable wearing as they are colors and styles … Continue reading →

What Do You Bicker About?

Is there a difference between fighting and bickering? I really think there is. I equate fighting to be dealing with “big” issues. You know, things like raising the children, how money is spent and so forth. But I equate bickering with the “little” stuff, such as leaving the cap off the toothpaste or who gets to drive. Fighting means you have some serious issues to deal with. This requires a lot more work, perhaps even some counseling to get through it. These are issues that took time to build up and will take time to solve. However with bickering, you … Continue reading →

Tips for Conflict Resolution

My father passed away recently, and last night, I spent some time reading his life history. He stated that even though twenty years had passed since my parents’ divorce, he still didn’t know why my mother had filed. She, on the other hand, always said that she tried over and over again to resolve the issues in their marriage, and he never listened. Hearing it from her side, and then reading it from his, I began to realize that conflict resolution is a two-way street. Both parties have to be invested, but first, both parties have to know there’s a … Continue reading →

Book Review: Gifted by Karey White

Brett and Susan are unable to have children of their own. Having waited what seems like forever, they are elated when they get a call—a birth family has chosen them to care for an infant they cannot raise themselves. When Brett and Susan meet the baby they will name Anna, they are immediately overwhelmed with her sweetness, and they believe no baby could be as wonder as she is. Of course, they know all new parents feel that way, but somehow, the world just seems better now that they have Anna. As she grows, Brett and Susan begin to realize … Continue reading →

How to Argue with Integrity

Whenever I hear couples brag that they never argue I’m actually not impressed. First of all, I find it hard to believe but even if it is true, I actually don’t think that is healthy. We all have to eventually address difficult issues in our lives. Now of course I’m not saying that you should be having some good knock-down, drag-it-out fights. However I do believe you can argue with integrity. Think about what the word integrity means. According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary it means a “firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values.” I really like the … Continue reading →

The Value of Compliments

The other day we looked at the importance of complimenting your spouse. Why compliment your spouse? It lets them know they are valued and their opinions are valued. Yesterday Mick and I were talking about the greenhouse he plans to build. I asked where he was planning to build it. I knew he had his doubts about the proposed site and so I suggested two other places. The more we talked the more it became obvious to me there was was a better spot. ‘That was a really good idea of yours,’ Mick said. How did it make me feel? … Continue reading →