Our culture believes that couples who sleep in separate beds are either experiencing or inviting problems in their marriage. Because I’m a light sleeper, I’m a firm believer that couples should be free to sleep separately if necessary. Jon and I almost always sleep together, but if one of us is restless we move to another bed, to keep that person from being woken up. I know that sleeping in the same bed improves intimacy. Once kids are part of the equation alone time between couples is scarce, and time in bed together, even if it’s just the process of … Continue reading →

My husband just returned to work after 3-4 days home sick with a fever. I doted on him for the duration. I didn’t do it because I thought it was the wife’s role, but because it’s what I’d expect anyone to do if a person they loved was ill. I expect similar dedication from Jon when I’m not feeling well. Copying many of the nursing habits my mom employed when my brother and I were sick growing up, I made him endless cups of tea: Echinacea, cold care, green tea with honey. I froze juice and made slushies for him. … Continue reading →

Have you ever noticed how the longer husbands and wives are together, the more they start to look like each other? I have, and it seems to hold true with every couple. I don’t know if it’s so much their facial characteristics as maybe the clothes they wear, or hairstyles, or the fact that they pick up each other’s mannerisms and turns of phrase. Whatever the cause, it seems to happen to everyone. But have you ever stopped to think how sometimes, married couples get the same illnesses? Of course we share the cold and flu with our spouses, but … Continue reading →

Nobody likes a whiner—we all know that. We hear someone start to complain, and we flip our internal switches to off. And if we’re married to a whiner, well, it’s even worse. We tend to lose sympathy over time—it’s just a natural thing to do. And it’s good to try not to be a whiner … but there are times when you really do need to complain. Not in an attempt to solicit more attention (although, if that attention is accompanied by backrubs and chocolate pudding, I don’t blame you) but as a way of possibly saving your life. There … Continue reading →

I’ve had food poisoning this week. If there’s anything in this world I hate, it’s food poisoning. I’ve finally crawled out of my dark cave, but I’m still weak and miserable, and my husband has taken over the house and the kids. It puts me in mind of the traditional wedding vow, “in sickness and in health.” Even if those exact words weren’t spoken at your wedding ceremony, the pledge is implied. As husbands and wives, we promise to be there for each other in each of life’s trials, and very often, those trials include those we suffer with our … Continue reading →

Here is yet another reason why having a stable loving marriage is good for you. If you have a health issue, it is better to be married. Researchers at the University of British Columbia studied the impact of health issues are they related to marriage. This was more of a financial study, which showed that main earners who become ill or disabled are “compensated” by being cared for by a spouse or “second earner.” What was really interesting about the study is that it showed that mean who become ill or disabled early in life don’t do as well as … Continue reading →