What Makes for a Happy, Lasting Marriage?

What makes for a happy, lasting marriage? According to Edward and Ella Chapman who this week celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, it is: ‘Love, respect and complete commitment to one another,’ Bev and Geoff Woodham who recently celebrated 40 years, say their secret to a long and loving marriage is ‘being great mates who share interests and enjoying life together.’ From my own point of view of over 40 years married, I’d say love, respect, and enjoying each other’s company come near the top of the list. Respect for the other person as they are without trying to change them … Continue reading →

The Economic Cost of Divorce

Now here is one more reason to avoid divorce at all costs, literally. Getting divorced may affect your net worth immediately and put you far behind financially from that point and going forward for years to come. Many divorce lawyers say that they are seeing fewer divorces during this recession, and that an economic downturn typically results in fewer divorces. While financial issues may be putting extra stress on marriages, the reality is that many people can’t afford to divorce or are choosing to postpone or cancel divorce because it could lead to economic hardship. So what are the expenses … Continue reading →

Can Love be Re-Ignited?

If the love seems to have gone out of your marriage can it be re-ignited? You won’t know until you try. And that’s the rub. First you have to be willing to try and do something about your marriage and not just walk away. So the first step is a commitment to having the marriage work. As a starting point remember why you fell in love with your spouse. Think back. What was it drew you to him or her initially. Make a list of those qualities you loved about them? Don’t they still have those qualities? So find ways … Continue reading →

Will Divorce Make You Happier?

You’ve decided that love is no longer in your marriage. You’re considering whether the smarter option is to split up and go your separate ways. Should you divorce? Would it make you happier? Not necessarily. That’s the findings of a summary of households and families in the US. The report was conducted using information available from the National Survey of Family and Households. Of over 5200 married men and women interviewed in the 1980s, 645 people admitted that they were unhappily married. The same men and women were interviewed again five years down the track. Some had chosen to divorce, … Continue reading →

What Would You Not Forgive – Part 2?

Yesterday I told you of the discussion four of us had about what we would not forgive or would struggle to forgive. The other thing both of us the women in the group mentioned was domestic violence. I’d find it hard to live with a man who took out his frustration and anger on me in violent ways. You’d always be walking on eggshells wondering what next would set him off. I say he, because although abuse of husband by wives does happen, it is less common. With domestic violence there is often a pattern where the violent act is … Continue reading →

Should You Avoid Divorce?

There are plenty of articles out there concerning the art of avoiding divorce, as if there were some magic formula that you could apply to guarantee that your marriage will not fail. I think we all eagerly read those bits of advice as a way of making sure that our marriages are on track. Or maybe we are struggling within our marriage and are looking for the secrets of avoiding divorce. Well, let me through my two cents in here, although it might not be too popular. There are some times when divorce can’t or shouldn’t be avoided. Some people … Continue reading →

Why Do People Think of Marriage as Hard Work?

Or another way of looking at it is: why do people expect marriage should be easy? I’ve been thinking about this a lot the last few days. It started the other day when I was in the checkout lane at Target and couldn’t help but overhear the conversation behind me. It was between a mother and daughter. I don’t remember what sparked it, but at one point the daughter said, “I don’t even know if I will get married. I’m not sure I want the hassle.” To which the mom said, “Good for you. Question it. If I had it … Continue reading →

What Would You Force Your Spouse To Do?

I know the word “force” seems a little strong, and generally speaking in a healthy marriage you’d never think of “forcing” your spouse to do anything, but there could come a time when force is needed. For instance, say your spouse was witness to some injustice, either at work or on the streets, but they were afraid of speaking up. You know speaking up’s the right thing to do, but you can’t seem to convince them. Until you get the bright idea to force them to, either by driving them to the police station or setting up a meeting with … Continue reading →

Do I Really Need a Replacement Ring?

Earlier this year I wrote about how I broke my ring. As much as I hate looking at my naked ring finger (which always reminds me that it’s my own fault my diamond’s not perched there anymore), I realized this past Saturday I don’t want another ring. Looking at New Rings My heart hasn’t been in the shopping mood anyway, but while we were waiting for a table at Carrabba’s Saturday night, Wayne suggested we skip across the parking lot to Jared’s and see what kind of rings they had. “I really need to get you another ring. It’s been … Continue reading →

Today’s “Why I Got Married, Why I Stay Single” Series – The Single Side of Things

Today continued their “Why I Got Married, Why I Stayed Single Series” this morning. This go around they examined why some people stay single. They interviewed single women for the introduction, but then they had Dr. Judith Sills, the clinical psychologist they had on yesterday’s show, as well as Amy Cohen, author of The Late Bloomer’s Revolution, on to talk with. Too Young to Be an Expert I immediately discounted Ms. Cohen. At first. I couldn’t understand how she could claim being an expert on being single and deciding to stay such when she didn’t look like she was even … Continue reading →