I recently heard a story about a man who had an affair after ten years of marriage. He commented that he had been unhappy in the marriage for a long time and that he did not know what else to do so he turned to another. I will begin by saying that I am not agreeing with his decision. I do not believe that there is any acceptable excuse for an affair. If he were that unhappy, a divorce would have been a better option. However I do hear this complaint and excuse from men a lot. It seems that … Continue reading →

There are many relationship and marriage articles out there that discuss the importance of communication, openness, and honesty. The three of these are essential for a healthy and happy relationship. So does that mean that secrets are not allowed? Is it okay to keep a secret from your mate? I think that secrets can be acceptable. It all depends on what type of secret it is. Some will claim that no secrets are allowed. However if the secret does not directly affect your mate or your relationship then it might be acceptable to keep it to yourself. For example should … Continue reading →

Every relationship hits down times when things are less than perfect. In some cases the partners are unsure exactly what it is that is keeping them at odds and in some cases there is a definite occurrence that has the relationship on rocks. Everything is great and you feel that your mate is the most wonderful person in the world, and then something happens. You see him or her in a whole new light. Your feelings are not as strong as they once were and you begin to feel a distance among the two of you. This occurrence that places … Continue reading →

In my last article I left off with a discussion about how some long term married couples decide to get a divorce. I discussed with you some of the questions that I had about what had happened in the marriage to cause the end to come after so many years. I also added in some of Heather’s ideas of outgrowing your spouse. As you recall from that article, I mentioned how it seemed that in many cases nothing significant had changed in the marriage from the previous years. It is my theory that this lack of change is what brought … Continue reading →

Our emotions play a big part in how we feel about our life. Our emotions also play a big part in how we feel about our spouse and our marriage. Everyone has emotional needs. However, some people are more emotional needy than others. In addition the things that may satisfy one person emotionally may not necessarily be what another has in mind. When your emotional needs are met, you feel happy, satisfied and content. However, when your emotional needs are not satisfied you may be upset, depressed, and even miserable. Learning how to satisfy your spouse’s emotional cravings and needs … Continue reading →

This is a difficult question. We outgrow clothes when we are little. We outgrow toys. We outgrow activities and grades. We even outgrow some of our friends. But can we really outgrow our marriage? If we can outgrow it, what do we do? How do we cope with it? This is more than a difficult question, it’s a difficult series of questions. To Outgrow Someone Outgrowing our friends happens when our interests diverge. This is a real problem when we’re teenagers and girls understand this concept a little bit better than boys (or so I think). Girls mature faster in … Continue reading →

Recently I was driving down the road and took notice to a new duet song by Reba McIntire that referred to taking her children to meet her ex-husband every other weekend. Many couples likely follow this same routine. They pack up the children and head off to meet their ex-spouse for the every other weekend visit. However the story line of this song may be what sets it apart from the typical divorced couple. The two ex-mates that are meeting up to exchange the children are doubting the divorce. They long for one another and the meetings are awkward. This … Continue reading →

The relationships that we have with others greatly affect our lives. They have influence over our emotions, our moods, and our outlook on life. In most cases we would consider being in a bad relationship to have a negative impact on our life and personal satisfaction. However one research study has found that being in a bad relationship and ending it can actually be very beneficial to our lives. One factor that was boosted by ending a bad relationship was self-discovery. It is found that in close, tight bonds with a mate, partners often become dependent on one another. They … Continue reading →