When I found out I was pregnant last spring, my best friend, Jessie, was one of the first people to find out. A few weeks later, she called me with some news of her own; she, too, was pregnant. She was a week and a day behind me. We were so excited; we were going to have babies together! But Jessie was in a completely different situation than I was. She had a Mirena IUD in place, which had been there for almost five years. She had some tough decisions to make. She decided right away that she wanted to … Continue reading →

In my last article, I decided that rather than writing about mental illness in general, I would write about the personal experience of the recent death of my mother. I have written many articles on dealing with grief and you can find links to them at the end of this article. As in the first article in this latest series, I have decided to write about my own feelings on the death of a parent and how I coped and am still coping with this major milestone in my life. Losing a parent can be difficult, and the degree of … Continue reading →

I am one of the few remaining original bloggers at Families.com and have been writing the Mental Health blog for five years and boy have those years gone by! I have really enjoyed the interaction between myself and you, the readers, through the vehicle of my articles. But most of all I have enjoyed the opportunity to help those who needed knowledge, reassurance and just a place to come and vent their pain. A place to just talk to see that they are not alone in dealing with mental health problems, whether that health has affected them or a family … Continue reading →

This year, many people may be experiencing their first Christmas without a loved one. Whether it be a grandparent, a parent, a spouse, a sibling or a child, Christmas can be a bittersweet time for those who are mourning. Although the average person on the street will allow you to grieve and talk about your lost loved one for about 6-8 weeks on average, the reality is that it takes at least one full year to even begin to get over the death of a close family member or friend. That year contains all the anniversaries that must be gone … Continue reading →

A little known, but often experienced phenomenon, is the orphan syndrome. This common event is usually associated with a child who loses both of his or her parents at a young age. But what is less known is that this phenomenon occurs to all people who have outlived both their parents and whose relationship with those parents continued in some form for the duration of that adult child’s life. Hence even a 40 or 50 year old can go through the feelings associated with the orphan syndrome when their last parent dies, even though that parent may well have been … Continue reading →

Continuing our theme on the thoughtless things people say at funerals (see link below), I have to mention here the case of Helen, who visited her friend whose mother had died. On the morning of the funeral, Helen arrived at her friend’s place with a pot of African violets and said: “I can’t go to the funeral, I’m getting my haircut at that time”. It doesn’t take a genius to imagine the hurt that this woman’s callousness caused. This is case where a white lie would have been more than justified. How can a haircut be more important than going … Continue reading →

Whether it is the death of a parent, a sibling, a spouse or a child, when the deceased is close to you, the pain is immense. Despite the obvious nature of this statement, many people fail to be able to adequately console the bereaved. In fact they make the situation much worse by saying the most tactless, thoughtless and sometimes just plain stupid things to people who are grieving. One of the most obvious cases is when the deceased is a newborn. Most deaths are occasions for sadness and mourning and the death of a baby is one of life’s … Continue reading →