Sadistic Narcissism: Margo’s Story (4)

In our continuing saga of Margo and her diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder with sadistic tendencies, we jump forward a few years and Margo is in her thirties and having her house renovated. She has employed an Asian painter to paint the inside of her house and he speaks little English. She phoned her sister Leah, who by this stage had restricted the number of encounters she had with her sister to effectively zero. However, whenever Margo had a gripe about their mother or in this instance, something “funny” to tell, she would ring her sister. She never noted that … Continue reading

Sadistic Narcissism: Margo’s Story (3)

In the first two installments of Margo’s story we looked at Margo’s increasing sadistic tendencies as she aged from a young girl through to late teenagehood. Apart from displaying all the classic symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, (see links below), Margo continued with her sadistic treatment of others who she felt she had power over. It is important to realize that, despite the front that narcissists show to the world, they are acutely insecure people and must rely on belittling others or, alternatively, associating themselves with people who they perceive as more important than themselves in order to make themselves … Continue reading

Sadistic Narcissism: Margo’s Story (2)

In the first instalment of this series on narcissistic personality disorder with sadistic tendencies, Margo was 15. We looked at her behavioral problems which involved both her peers at school who she bullied, and her three-year old sister who she physically abused for pleasure. As time went on, the relationship between Margo and the world did not improve. By 16, she was laughing at girls who became pregnant and delighted in theirs and their family’s despair. Her now four-year-old sister because the target of her verbal taunts, since she had learned that continuing with physical punishment was counterproductive to Margo … Continue reading

Sadistic Narcissism: Margo’s Story (1)

In our previous introduction to Sadistic Narcissism (see link below), we looked at the difference between narcissistic personality disorder )NPD), sexual sadism and narcissistic personality disorder with sadistic tendencies. Today we will look at Margo, who sufferers from NPD and has a sadistic side to her personality which was apparent by the time she was in her very early teens and possibly earlier. Margo was an only child for twelve years and as personality disorders do not become apparent in terms of a firm diagnosis until emotional maturity is reached in the early twenties, it is unclear what was happening … Continue reading

Sadistic Narcissism: A Different Edge to Narcissism

So far in the many articles written on Narcissistic Personality Disorder (see links below), we have concentrated on the typical form of this particular disorder. But in rarer cases, some sufferers of this disorder have an added comorbidity: the addition of a sadistic streak in their personality. This form of sadism is quite different from the DSM-IV-TR category for Sexual Sadism. The latter involves gaining sexual pleasure from the suffering of others. Where there exists a sadistic tendency coupled with narcissism, the sufferer of this form of illness carries all the tendencies and diagnostic qualities of narcissistic personality disorder, but … Continue reading

Forgiving Your Narcissistic Parent

When I work with a client who is struggling to deal with the pain and the devastation caused by being raised by a narcissist, I never include as part of the agenda of therapy the idea of forgiving their parent. This is because, when a client approaches me for help, they are so distressed in trying to make head or tail of what their relationship with their parent has become, that they are in no position to do anything other than to try to make sense of the relationship as best they can. In many situations, the narcissistic parent has … Continue reading

Aging Narcissistic Mothers: Elinor’s Last Stand

We have looked at Elinor’s story in two separate articles as she fought to regain control of her life against her narcissistic mother. Today’s article is about what happened when Elinor gave her mother the greatest gift of all and was rejected in a cruel and vindictive way. As we read earlier (see articles below) Elinor spent decades of her life devoting herself to trying to please her mother. She didn’t realize her mother suffered from Narcissistic Personality Disorder and so kept trying to win her love and approval, hoping that one day her mother would literally “wake up to … Continue reading

Why Don’t Significant Life Events Change Narcissists?

This article was prompted by one of my readers who noted that even after a brush with cancer, her narcissistic mother did not use that opportunity to change her life. This is a typical situation that clearly outlines the absolute and global effect of narcissistic personality disorder on the individual. For many people, having a life threatening illness such as cancer changes that individual. Even for those who don’t survive, there is often a change in the way they lkook at life because they have to evaluate what is important and what is unimportant in the real scheme of things. … Continue reading

The Aging Narcissist: What Happened to Elinor?

Some time ago I wrote an article of what life was like for Elinor, the middle aged daughter of an elderly narcissistic mother. This article has spawned countless comments and private correspondences, as well as an introductory to therapy for many people. The story has never been concluded formally but I have had many requests for what happened to Elinor. How did she fair with her mother who had berated her as a child and made increasing demands on her as an adult? Well, Elinor went into counseling and slowly learned the mechanics of how a narcissist thinks and operates. … Continue reading

Having a Sibling with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although nowhere near as emotionally harmful as having a parent with this disorder, growing up with a sibling with narcissistic personality disorder can be an extremely painful experience, particularly if that sibling is older than you are. Let’s look at the case of Lisa and Margo. Margo was 12 years Lisa’s senior and therefore was in a position to almost be a second mother to her baby sister. But Margo was so overcome by jealousy at the birth of the cute new interloper that she never really recovered from that trauma. Any motherly attributes that Margo may have possessed were … Continue reading