Flying Solo

My baby is gone. She learned how to ride a two-wheeler and took off. It’s a mother’s worst nightmare. Your child is ready to spread her wings, but you just want to smother those growing appendages in a bear hug and hold on for dear life. This summer, my little fledgling was itching to take flight and she used her beloved bike to soar… far away from home. Too far. Way too far. What started out as a request to ride solo to the end of our cul-de-sac morphed into a journey stretching several blocks into an unfamiliar neighborhood filled … Continue reading →

The Negative Effect of Globalization on Rape

Some years ago, I answered the phone to a hysterical woman with a strong American accent. Between her accent and her tears, I was unable to understand what she was saying apart from “I was raped.” A young backpacker, she had taken 12 months off her job as an airline attendant and had bought herself a Round the World ticket. After three months of travel, she had been enjoying a slow week in a South American country. After all the other bus passengers had alighted from their daily tour, the tour guide raped the young woman in the aisle of … Continue reading →

Teachable Moments in Protective Play.

Protective play is about finding teachable moments, during play, to introduce the five BITSS elements of protective behaviors. BITSS play can help you to protect your child by introducing talk about Body Ownership, Intuition, Touch, Say No and Support Networks before anything horrible happens to your child. I run Protective Play parties to teach parents how easy it is to do. I take a stock of everyday toys with me and we sit and play as if kids would. During the play I coach in how find and grab that teachable moment and mentor the participants through play tutoring. It … Continue reading →

Fight Back with a Voice of Marshal Protection.

While sitting here tonight pretending to be a highly observant Kendo Mum, I am reminded of the link between self-defense and personal safety. Many protective behavior programs advocate for fight back. If you are grabbed by a stranger while, you are on the street, in the park, or in your back yard; fight back and scream. Of course, structured self-defense would be the ideal, but, if like me, when you are in crisis you forget everything you are supposed to do, you won’t remember the structure and therefore, any old fight back will do. Most forms of self-defense and marshal … Continue reading →

Protective Behaviors at Bath Time are Lush.

Bath time is an excellent time to begin talking about Protective Behaviors. While washing children you can tell them about their private parts: the parts that nobody can touch unless it’s Mom or Dad giving them a quick wash or putting medicine there, or the Dr. or Nurse having a quick check to make sure all is well. The private parts are the body bits covered by our underwear or swimming costumes. Private means, “This is my body and it’s not for sharing. If you touch, I’m going to tell.” Although this seems super easy to me, many parents struggle … Continue reading →

Date Rape

Date Rape is when someone you are dating forces or manipulates you into having sex when you really don’t want to. Regardless of your relationship with that person, even if you love and trust them, sex without your clear and un-pressured “yes,” is rape. Rape is against the law. Many people wrongly think that because their date paid for dinner, movies, coffee, etc, that they are expected to repay the favor by having sex. WRONG. When I invite people to dinner, or pay for their coffee when I go out, I certainly do not expect them to sleep with me. … Continue reading →

Umbrellas and Parrots to Help Play Protect our Children. Thanks Mary Poppins.

I’m back and how I have missed my friends at families.com. However, my recent Protective Play tour to Maryborough was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I was guest speaker at the breakfast launch of Sexual Violence Awareness month and facilitated a four-hour training in the BITSS model of Protective Behaviors. Twenty-one social science professionals attended the training and we played with everyday toys and household items in an effort to discover novel ways to instill protective behavior teachable moments into families’ homes. Of most interest to me was the revisit of the umbrella as a protective play tool. Umbrellas are useful for protection from … Continue reading →

Mary Magdalene was Naught but a Prostitute.

Mary Magdalene was a prostitute. She sold sex for money to survive. I have worked with many working girls throughout my career as a sexual assault worker. Many of them were Mary Magdalenes: women with amazing stories of strength, and change. Women who met a revolutionary agent of amazing charisma: another woman who did not judge them. The common thread with all the prostituting women’s stories was respect and acceptance from other people – mentors who saw their spirit, not just their sexual behaviors of survival. These working girls have often had a history of abuse, but more importantly, a … Continue reading →

Mary Poppins was Written by a Child in Need of Protection.

Mary Poppins was a nanny with pull. She knew which strings to pull to keep her charges in line and, even when she introduced them to risky situations, she worked hard to keep them safe. She knew how to shape Mr. and Mrs. Banks into responding to the needs of their children and she frowned upon their constant absences. What a shame the parents of the Mary Poppins author were unable to offer the same level of care and child protection. Mary Poppins was not merely a spoonful of sugar! Written by a woman who had experienced a childhood that … Continue reading →

Topical Whensday: When Will YOU Tee On to Cause an Effect?

It’s Wednesday and a GREAT day to wear that cause related Tee Shirt that you bought to support a worthy group. Where is it now? Stuffed in the back of the cupboard or in the pyjama drawer? When will you drag it out? Today is WHENSDAY, the perfect day to find it. In Cairns, Far North Queensland, Australia, every Friday is Tropical Friday. A town that thrives on tropical and eco tourism, business houses, staff and individuals challenge each other to don the antithesis of formal dress: to frolic in the relaxed attire of holiday bliss, the tropical shirt and … Continue reading →