Curbing Bad Behavior: Biting

Once bitten, twice shy. Or in my daughter’s case, indefinitely shy. And in my case, infinitely outraged. Last year, my child was on the receiving end of a serious bite. Not by a spider, a dog, nor a snake, but by a boy diagnosed with a developmental disorder. My daughter’s bloody injury required emergency medical treatment. Fortunately, her tetanus shot was up-to-date, so she wasn’t forced to endure a booster. Despite the passage of time, the details of that traumatic day are still seared in my memory. As I learned from the attending physician, human bites can be far more dangerous than … Continue reading →

Summer Bedtime Battle

If you have young children, getting them to cooperate at bedtime can be a challenge during the school year; however, during the summer months, the conflict typically intensifies. In my home, bedtime battles are as heated as the Sahara sun. If even a sliver of daylight can be seen on the horizon, my 8-year-old thinks she should be wide awake and as far away from a bed as possible. So, you can imagine how brutal bedtime is when the sun rises just after 5 a.m. and doesn’t set until nearly 9 p.m. Summer’s extended daylight is great for farmers, but for … Continue reading →

Are You Too Critical?

How often do you start the day with a morning lecture? My 8-year-old daughter’s answer: “Too many!” She’s probably right. If she asks for help locating her backpack, I spend five minutes “suggesting” that she hang it in the back hall where she can easily find it. If she complains about taking the same home lunch to school every day I “propose” that she expand her palate because there’s only so much I can do with strawberries, crackers and plain chicken. When she whines about not having enough time to eat a leisurely breakfast before school I “recommend” moving up … Continue reading →

Timing Is Everything… Or Is It?

Racing against the clock is a futile exercise most parents endure while raising children. If time kicks your butt getting out the door in the morning, consider the consequences if you choose to ignore it when disciplining your kids. To be effective, discipline must immediately follow a child’s transgression… or so claims numerous childhood experts. Easy enough if you are dealing with a toddler whose actions are fairly simple to monitor. Not so when your kids hit an age when they would rather you not be a constant presence in their lives. Or present at all. Parents of school age … Continue reading →

Parents Needed More Than Ever

I used to think the ideal years for being a stay-at-home mom was when the kids are very young, before they ventured off to school. These are the years where so much forming and shaping of their lives takes place. Yet I have come to see another stage in life to be just as important. It is during the teen years. So often parents see this as their time…after all, teens are independent and don’t seem to need mom and dad as much as they used to. Whether the issue is staying home or just being available, too many parents … Continue reading →

Plugged In Parent?

Are you a plugged in parent? I’m talking about the kind of parent who is involved in your teenager’s life…in such a way that you would recognize signs of bad behavior. Things like drinking, drugs, oh, even prostitution. Can you imagine not knowing that your teenager was not only sexually active but had been with married men? Had prostituted herself out in order to get ecstasy? That was the situation in a recent Dr. Phil show I watched. I would have to say this was probably the most clueless mother I have ever seen. The specifics of the show don’t … Continue reading →

Mistake #5 Parents Make With Teenagers: Imbalanced Discipline

Today we are wrapping up the last blog for my “mistakes parents make” series. We’ve covered expecting the worse, looking for parenting answers in others, making mountains out of molehills, and making molehills out of mountains. Today is about imbalanced discipline. And I will tell you, that I am the queen of this. Yes, I fully admit that I don’t have this whole discipline thing down pat. You would think after raising one child to adulthood, one just over two years away from that and another well on his way, I would be an expert. Okay, here’s the truth. No … Continue reading →

Mistake #4 Parents Make With Teenagers: Making Molehills Out of Mountains

In my last few blogs I’ve tackled three mistakes that parents make, expecting the worse, looking for parenting answers in others, and making mountains out of molehills. Now I’m going to do a little bit of a reverse in parenting mistake #4, which is making molehills out of mountains. Just as parents can make a big deal out of something not so significant, the opposite is true. However, this is probably one of the most dangerous mistakes that parents can make. Whenever parents suspect a serious issue is going on, it’s important to take action. The problem is that we … Continue reading →

Mistake #3 Parents Make With Teenagers: Making Mountains Out of Molehills

We have talked about two different mistakes parents of teenagers make: expecting the worse and looking for parenting answers in others. Today’s mistake is making mountains out of molehills. Of which I am sometimes the queen. The best example I can give in my parenting experience is when my daughter first began to wear makeup. She thought the raccoon look was the way to go. I absolutely hated the thick, black lines that surrounded her eyes. It would cause constant arguments between us. One time I even pulled her out of our church’s youth group to make her go … Continue reading →

Mistake #2 Parents Make With Teenagers: Looking for Parenting Answers in Others

So far I have covered mistake #1 that parents of teenagers make, expecting the worse out of this stage of life. The second mistake I am going to talk about is trying to find parenting answers through others. I know that sounds pretty strange, considering I am technically giving advice. But at the heart of my message is this…every family is different, so you have to learn what’s best for yours. This doesn’t mean that help from others—whether it comes through books, seminars or blogs—shouldn’t be sought. It doesn’t mean that you can’t be encouraged or inspired by others. But … Continue reading →