When Valentine’s Day Is a Downer

Valentine’s Day can be a real downer for many teens. It may be nothing more than a reminder that they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, fueling some of the negative beliefs they may already have about themselves. Sometimes schools add insult to injury by drawing greater attention to it. Although last week was “Spirit Week” at my daughter’s high school, I found the theme for Friday to be a bit unsettling. You were supposed to wear a color to represent your relationship status. The different colors showed if you were taken, single or in a relationship dubbed “it’s complicated.” … Continue reading →

Do Children Make You Happier?

What role do children play in a parent’s happiness? Do we find more joy in raising these youngsters or is there a longing for B.C. days (before children)? Apparently new research indicates that yes, parents are happier than those who don’t have children. However, those with children that are the least happy are single and young parents. In fact, these groups may even be less happy than childless adults. Some have argued that the results are skewed because they didn’t differentiate between parents of babies and those with adult children. Clearly the age of a child will make a significant … Continue reading →

Teen Challenges: Boundaries and Freedoms

Today I am wrapping up my teen challenges series. I have addressed lying, attitudes, bad choices, and peer pressure. Now we tackle boundaries and freedoms. Although these sound like opposites, they really do intertwine. First, boundaries have to be established. You can do this through rules, contracts or whatever creative ideas you may come up with. Boundaries are in place to protect your teen, which is something you need to explain. Don’t expect them to get it…they think they are invincible. But it still needs to be said. Freedoms come into play when those boundaries start to move. It doesn’t … Continue reading →

Teen Challenges: Peer Pressure

Lying, attitudes, bad choices. All of these challenges that most parents have to deal with at one time or another when raising teenagers. But there is another challenge that can sometimes make you feel as if you are climbing Mount Everest. It is the impossible feat of dealing with peer pressure. For many teens, peer pressure is the most difficult thing to resist. They want to be liked, they want to fit in. I don’t know how I have managed to mostly overcome this issue. But my two oldest children have never really struggled with this. They are both who … Continue reading →

Teen Challenges: Bad Choices

So far I have covered teen challenges of lying and attitudes. Now we come to one of the most difficult things for a parent to do…watch their child make bad choices, or to discover the bad choice after the fact. It is a very helpless feeling. You like to think that everything that has been taught and modeled to your child would make a difference. It’s easy to feel like that isn’t true when it all goes south. But I’m here to tell you that it makes more of a difference than you might imagine. Think about one of those … Continue reading →

Teen Challenges: Attitudes

I started off this new series on teen challenges with the issue of lying. Today’s parenting topic is the challenge of dealing with teen attitudes. At some point even the most compliant, “model” child will display some version of an attitude. It could be eye-rolling, clucking of the tongue, shaking of the head, arms folded, feet stamping, or words such as “Whatever,” “Oh my gosh!” or even, “I hate you!” Attitudes can also include doors slamming, objects being tossed and storming off to sulk. Some are less dramatic, while others go all out. I wish I could tell you that … Continue reading →

Teen Challenges: Lying

This blog is a kickoff to a little series I will be doing on teen challenges. While some of the issues we face in parenting teenagers are different for each family, there are many common ones that we deal with. So let’s start off with a big one—the juicy lies that sometimes come out of our teen’s mouths. Oh, this is one that I have the most difficulty in dealing with. Because I have taught my children from early on that the consequences will be much more severe if caught lying. By now my teens should have figured out that … Continue reading →

Beware of Catfishing

Are you familiar with catfishing? If you are a parent, then you need to be. And no, this isn’t a lesson on fishing for catfish, nor is it a recap of what I recently saw on “Duck Dynasty.” Catfishing is when someone takes on a false identity online and ropes some unsuspecting person into a relationship. Probably the most familiar story of recent is the linebacker from the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Manti Te’o. It’s been all over the news. How he apparently was in a relationship with a young woman online and she died from cancer. Turns out she … Continue reading →

When Technology Becomes Unhealthy

Living in this world of technology, one thing I have noticed is a change in relationships. Face-to-face interactions happen less often. It’s easier to shoot out an email or text. It may feel safer to have a discussion through instant messaging. Instead of talking about our feelings, we are voicing them on Facebook or Twitter. And rather than enjoying quality time together with our friends, we sit a few feet from each other, tapping away on our devices. This can be not only unhealthy but dangerous. I’ve seen one of my daughter’s friends fall for a guy she met online. … Continue reading →