Stubbornness Can Be Both Good and Bad

Blessed is the parent of a stubborn child! And, in all fairness, I suppose we should light a candle or two for stubborn parents too. While I can be pretty stable, I am not particularly stubborn. I do have two children, however, for whom stubbornness is both a gift and a curse! I think we often see only the downside of a stubborn temperament, but there are some “good” things that can come from stubbornness too. My two stubborn children are both able to be quite committed to things that matter to them. Whether it is a good friend, or … Continue reading →

Coping With Short-Tempers

When I started to write this, I was really thinking about KIDS with short tempers and what a challenge it can be on an otherwise peaceful household. But, then I realized that there are plenty of short-tempered parents out there too. In fact, sometimes our kids learn that temper tantrums are a reasonable way of expressing oneself from us parents! I decided to expand the blog to talk about short tempers and temper control all around as a family issue… Having a short-temper does NOT mean that a person has anger management issues. In fact, getting upset is normal and … Continue reading →

Make Room for Those Who Don’t Multi-Task

We’ve got a lot to do in the course of the day. The average parent–whether partnered or single, has chores to do, work, a household to run, errands, family and friends, and all of the activities that go along with childhood–play dates, school, sports, dance, tutors–are you exhausted yet? I’m exhausted just starting to write this out! Some of us are fabulous multi-taskers and can actually feel energized with all this rushing and buzzing about–but not everyone likes to feel rushed. How can you keep things moving when you have a child (or two) who not only doesn’t like it, … Continue reading →

Can You REALLY Make Them Do Things They Don’t Want To Do?

Recently, I was watching the exasperated dad of a three-year-old trying to elicit compliance and agreement from the unbudging child. He tried all the tricks in the parenting toolbox—distraction, bribery, affection, sternness. In the end, the stubborn child didn’t give in and the dad had to change tactics and move on to something else. All I could do was offer him a warm smile and try to convey as much sympathy and understanding as I could. One of the first and most shocking things we learn as parents is that if our child absolutely, positively doesn’t want to do something—there … Continue reading →

New Report Shows Fewer Teens Having Sex

There’s good news for parents of teens. According to a recently released study, fewer teens are having sex, the number of teens ages 15 to 17 giving birth has decreased and for those teens who are engaging in sexual activity, the use of condoms is up. America’s Children: Key National Indicators of Well-Being, is an annual report released by the Federal Interagency Forum on Child and Family Statistics and details information on the health and well-being of children in the United States. Many of the findings were positive. In addition to the issues of teen sexuality, the study found that: … Continue reading →

Some Children Are Natural “Loners”

I have written before about “joiners and loners” and how challenging it can be for parents and children when their social temperament do not match. But, it occurred to me that we parents have a tendency to think that we can change and mold our children more than we probably can. Some children are just natural extroverts or introverts and it is as much about temperament and personality as anything else. In this day and age when being labeled a “loner” can be cause for concern about one’s antisocial tendencies, it might behoove us to remember that some children are … Continue reading →

Kids Who Can’t Be Rushed

I have one of those children…of course, she’s almost grown now and I can attest to the fact that her temperament really hasn’t changed at all. While she has taken over her own time management for the most part—she has always been someone who has no sense of urgency. Not only can she NOT be rushed and hurried, the more someone tries to rush her along, the more she balks and slows down! I have to share, however, that there are some really great things about people who cannot be rushed—kids included. My daughter has an amazing ability to focus … Continue reading →

Who Needs the Attitude Adjustment? You or Me?

I would LIKE to think that it is always my kids who need to make adjustments to their attitudes. After all, they are the snarky, snappy, obnoxious teenagers some of the time. And I am the mellow, wise, calm, and brilliant mother—at least that’s how I like to think of the movie that is running in my head. In reality, sometimes it is ME who needs to make a tweak or two to my attitude. As a matter of fact, if all of those spiritual and self-help books are right (and I am not quite ready to say that they … Continue reading →

Emotional Mirroring

Children often have a hard time understanding what they are feeling. Parents can help by using a technique called emotional mirroring. When we look in a mirror, we see our reflection staring back at us, exactly as it is without any added flattery or faults, according to Dr. Haim Ginott. We don’t expect our mirror to start talking to us (unless you’re living in a fairytale), commenting on how bad we look. We may not like what we see but we want to make the decisions about changing the way we look. When it comes to our kids emotions, they … Continue reading →

Unconventional Kids and Unconventional Parents

I love the word “unconventional” and it tends to pop up in parenting articles and books now and again. There are so many great synonyms for unconventional—eccentric, irregular, unusual, avant-garde, original—how could one NOT want to embrace an unconventional child or be labeled an unconventional parent?! Of course, I realize that not everyone is comfortable with the idea of unconventionality. We worry whether or not our unconventional children can also be deemed normal, and want to make sure that we’re not overlooking any potential problems. But, the uniqueness of each child and the variations of perspective and attitude that each … Continue reading →