Single Parenting an Opposite Gender Child

I think I’ve had it pretty easy as a single mother, I had one child and she is a girl, this is territory that I know! What if you are a single parent raising the opposite gender child? You have some learning to do and it will be easier than you think! Dad while discipline may come easier for you than the nurturing side of parenting, you must remember to nurture. If your little girl gets a boo boo it’s important that you are comforting and kiss it better if necessary. This is not the time for life is not … Continue reading →

Finding Things to do With a Son

My son is fifteen—not the easiest of ages for a teenage boy and certainly not the easiest of times for a single mom. Where we used to go to lunch and movies together and be able to sit side-by-side on the couch, there is now misunderstandings and distance. I notice that we both still try to talk to each other but we don’t always connect like we used to. Mostly, I am learning that finding things we can do together helps take the pressure off and gives us a way to connect without too much closeness. As the “baby,” my … Continue reading →

There Doesn’t Have to Be a “Problem” With Cross-Gender Parenting

As many of you know, I am the parent of three—two girls and one boy. I have been a single parent for years and if I had my way, I would have even more children! Since my kids are approaching those late teenage years, I’m not ready to be done yet. One of the questions I get most often is how I manage to parent a boy? There is this assumption that a partnered mother can parent a boy, but an unpartnered one cannot. Sure, I might not BE a boy, but I am a parent… I decided years ago … Continue reading →

What can Boys of Single Moms Learn?

I’ve heard the infamous question asked of single moms raising sons. “What about a male role model?” Yes, male role models are an important part of a growing boys life, but not having one isn’t the end either. There are a lot of things that boys being raised by single moms can learn, even without a male role model. Just to name a few: Sons of single moms learn to respect not only their mom, but all women. They live with a woman day in and day out who works hard, supports her family, raises her children, and does the … Continue reading →

One Mom, One Son

I am the single mom of three–but only one of my children is a boy. My son is decidedly out-numbered by females in our little family, and it has always been that way. Even when he was very young and his father and I were still married, his father was gone so much that I was always the primary and most present parent. He does get to spend some time with his dad, but his dad still spends most of his time working or away from home so even though he has a father and a male role model, it … Continue reading →

Beyond Gender—The Realities of Single Parenting

One of the inevitable realities of a single parent household is that life gets lived beyond gender stereotypes. A single parent does it all—regardless of what is considered a “traditional” job assigned to a “traditional” gender role. We cook and clean and whip out our tool boxes to fix bicycles and make home repairs. Our children do get to grow up in a world that goes beyond gender stereotypes. I really do think this is a good thing. My kids have done the bulk of their growing up in circumstances that have taught them that, at least at mom’s house, … Continue reading →

Helping Boys Grow Into Men

Does it really matter that so many boys are being raised in single parent mother headed households? Many people believe that boys really need men to help guide them and teach them-even if it is just by watching responsible, trustworthy men. Interestingly, I have found that my boys will react more quickly when giving directions or making a request if I change my voice to a lower tone, which makes it sound less female and a little more like a guy’s voice. I recently read two articles boys and their lack of relationships with men. Interestingly both articles made similar … Continue reading →

Those Wonderful Boys

A few years ago someone made a comment that I thought was odd, but have grown to understand. This person said to me something like-“I really feel for you being a single mother and of two boys nonetheless.” At first I thought it was a little bit of a chauvinistic comment, but I have come to realize that this person really had some keen insight into boyhood. In general, boy’s needs are different from the needs of girls, especially as they get older. As a former girl-I know I need some help to find out what boys need to grow … Continue reading →

Mentors

Raising children as a single parent can be challenging at so many levels. Often we have to take on a role of trying to be both mother and father if the other parent is not involved in a child’s life. It can be extremely difficult to take on both roles, have a career, maintain a home and all of the other aspects of raising a family. Getting help is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of wisdom. Mentoring can be one way to effectively help meet the needs of single parent families. According to Big Brothers Big … Continue reading →

Mothers Raising Boys

What do Tom Cruise, Ed Bradley, Alexander Haig, Bill Clinton, Alan Greenspan, Bill Cosby, Dr. Benjamin Carson and Les Brown have in common? They were all raised by single mothers. This information may give us a glimmer of hope, but for many moms the task of bringing up boys can seem very daunting. We worry that we might not have the skills needed to help them grow into men. I think the best thing we can do for our boys is get to know them personally and educate ourselves about what boys need to grow into strong men. Here are … Continue reading →