So many people have to deal with a difficult ex spouse. I’m sure none of us are the difficult ex spouse, no matter what he may say! Sometimes for reasons unknown to most rational people, an ex spouse will try to interfere with your new marriage, or manipulate you using your children, or personally attack you. What can you do that will not cause the problem to escalate? Due to the fact that you have children with this person, you need to tread lightly, just as what he does affects the children, how you respond affects them as well. The … Continue reading →

It’s all his fault, if he hadn’t done ( fill in the blank), we would still be married, my kids would have both of their parents and I would have my happily ever after. Instead I’m raising three kids by myself, with barely enough money to pay the bills, forget about anything extra while he is off gallivanting with his girlfriend of the week. Sound familiar? Even some of it? Most of us have a divorce story. Some of us initiated the divorce but even then there is more than enough blame to go around. In my case, my ex … Continue reading →

Do you use your child as a pawn in your divorce? I have tried so hard not to do that but I’m sure at times I have been guilty of it as well. We are all human and we all do things that in hindsight we realize we shouldn’t have done. I’m not talking about small slips, I’m talking about the people who do this as their main means of communicating and punishing their ex. I know many single parents, that really is a sad reflection on our society. It seems that I don’t know anyone who is in their … Continue reading →

Do you believe people can change? By people I mean your ex husband. After a divorce it’s hard to get along with this man you used to love. I know I felt like my ex husband had changed in ways that robbed me of my happiness and I was mad about it. In the beginning sometimes that anger just ate me up inside but I finally had to let go of it, for me, not for him. There is so much bitterness after a divorce. Maybe your ex husband has done some things that make it impossible for you to … Continue reading →

Sometimes when you are divorced it’s hard to remember to be grateful for your child’s other parent. There can be so much animosity at times that it’s all you can do to smile and make nice when Daddy comes to pick them up. I knew my ex husbands shortcomings as a father but there were times when I was grateful for him. Hailey had surgery on her mouth after she got her braces. It seems that her eye teeth were impacted and they needed to hook little wires on them to pull them down into place. This required peeling back … Continue reading →

You have been with your partner for quite some time. You start to drift apart and then it happens. You have tried to repair your relationship, but you both come to the conclusion that it just cannot be repaired. There is too much damage there and too many sad, hurtful memories. You decide that it is best for the both of you to split apart. You both part and go your separate ways, but you still have to see each other because there are children involved. You have to come to some kind of agreement about many difficult situations. One … Continue reading →

Communication is key to a healthy relationship between two individuals. Even two individuals that strongly disagree about most things, can still maintain a healthy relationship with some positive communication. One of these methods of communication is e-mail. Is that a good method? Personally I feel that any form of written communication can be both good and bad. The good points are that you have a written account of whatever communication was taking place, but the bad points are too strong to neglect pointing out. Emails can get lost in cyberspace or a particularly spammy inbox. This is a problem because … Continue reading →

Recently, I read Kori’s article titled Exes as Friends. After reading an article with red flag warning signs for a troubled marriage, she immediately caught on to one particular point about people staying in touch privately with exes. This apparently is a red flag for troubled marriages. Kori disagreed and so do I. I actually disagree strongly. First of all, in my own personal experience, which of course is mine and mine along, I communicate with my ex privately all the time. Mostly this is because my new husband has absolutely no interest in my ex and if I feel … Continue reading →

Yesterday, I was reading Lyn Newton’s article on “Warning Signs” in the Marriage Blog and something jumped out at me—she shares that one big red flag in a relationship is “If you are in a relationship with someone who still has contact with ex’s and talks with them frequently without including you then there is a warning sign.” For many of us single parents, we know how woven together our lives can be with our exes and while some of us battle and fight, every once in a while an Ex turns out to be a great friend. I am … Continue reading →