It seems that every day I learn or discover something new about myself. Being a single mother has helped me grow in ways I never imagined. One huge thing I’ve learned is that fear is situational and what you are afraid of will change depending on where you are in your life. For instance, I’ve always been afraid of spiders, now that I am a single mother, I am the person who has to deal with the spiders. I can’t scream and run into the other room waiting for someone to kill it, I have to kill it. I have … Continue reading →

While there are many challenges to being a single parent, there are lots of benefits as well. If your ex is not setting the best example for your children you have the opportunity to turn that around by showing them a better example. Then there is just the simple joy of spending time with your child. Everyone has to work and go to school, but after that, your time is your own and you get to decide how to spend it. If I want to procrastinate on housework and play a board game with Hailey, no one will be upset … Continue reading →

Being a single parent changes you, there’s no doubt about that. Every day I’m surprised by the things I never thought I could do that I do now, without even batting an eye. I was very much a traditional wife. I worked outside of the home but at home I did all the housework, laundry, cooking and child care. I gardened a little in my flower beds and vegetable garden but the major yard work was left to my ex husband. I took care of the inside of my house, he took care of the outside. It worked, but it … Continue reading →

One of those double edged swords of parenting is watching your children grow. It’s amazing and wonderful to watch them grow, and learn and mature but at the same time it’s a little sad. Every step they take towards maturity is a step away from you, and there is no turning back. As a single mother I feel this sadness, intensely at times. It has been just the two of us for so long, and now there is a third. My daughter found the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with and they got married. A … Continue reading →

Have you noticed how many more single dads there are now? It used to be that single dads were a rarity and usually were the result of the death of a spouse. Not anymore. More and more women are choosing to allow their children to live with their fathers. It’s still pretty taboo. When people meet a single father they instantly assume the mother of those children is worthless, after all, what kind of woman walks away from her children? Men and women walk away every day, and have been for years but that doesn’t necessarily have to be the … Continue reading →

There is so much talk constantly about those poor children growing up in single parent homes. Yes, for some children it is a really bad environment, but for most of those children it would be a bad situation even if they had both parents at home. Many times, the children of single parents who are in the worst situations are living with drug or alcohol addictions or poverty. As a society we need to help those children and those families. All of us, single or married, parent or not, should do what we can to help each other. Sometimes children … Continue reading →

Today was Father’s Day. I spent the day having a BBQ with some friends, none of our children were in attendance. We are single mothers, this is not our day. Yet for many of us, it still is. Getting your child for a day or two a month is not what it takes to be a father. Sending a child support check but not coming to their choir performance, is not what makes a father. Just like being a mother, being a father is made up of a million little things, most that we do without thinking. My daughter has … Continue reading →

As a single parent I’m learning every day. The biggest lesson I’ve learned, and the one I struggle with most is that I don’t always have to be strong. It’s ok to admit that I need help. This so hard for me, as I think it is for most single parents. After experiencing a failed marriage we feel like failures. That thought haunts us so we feel like we always have to have it together when it comes to parenting our children. Admitting that you need help is almost like admitting failure and when it comes to our kids, we … Continue reading →

I have a confession, I’ve become a bit of a control freak. Ask anyone about the bad parts of single parenting and they will rattle off the list, finances, dealing with your ex, no down time, never getting a break, doing everything alone, and on and on. This is a list we all know too well but recently I discovered there is a side effect of single parenting that no one told me about- becoming a little controlling. I was wondering why I was always right and other people were doing everything wrong, now I know! I’ve become very set … Continue reading →

I want a do over. I want to go back to sticky fingers and drool covered chins. I want a chance to react differently, to listen more, to pay attention. When I was married the days passed in a blur, when I got divorced they passed even more quickly, and I had less time to notice and enjoy my child. I want to go back and do it right. I think that no matter what you did right there are always so many things you wish you had done differently. I wish I had listened more when Hailey rambled on … Continue reading →