Do you have a plan? When you are a young single mother it’s hard to believe that their could come a time when you won’t be there for your child. No one wants to think about it but unfortunately it’s something you need to prepare for. If your ex is a good parent and in a position to raise the kids should something happen to you, half the problem is solved. But what if he’s not? What if he has a drug or alcohol problem or is just generally unreliable? Then what? Unfortunately this is something you will have to … Continue reading →

I love being a mom. It truly is one of the greatest joys in my life. Watching my daughter grow into the person she will become and knowing I had something to do with that, makes my heart happy. That’s not to say it is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I thought parenting was difficult when I was married but it’s much harder as a single mom. For me, the toughest thing is not having that sounding board to bounce ideas off and get advice from. We all want to do what’s best for our child but sometimes it’s … Continue reading →

It’s such a beautiful day today. I took a walk around my neighborhood just enjoying the day, watching all the little ones out playing in the sunshine as their mom’s hovered close by. It’s so cute to watch people interact with their toddlers. We all try to reason and use logic and all that toddler can think is I. Want. it. Now. As I walked I saw one of the moms shoot me an embarrassed smile as her tiny little one threw a tantrum. I smiled back, thinking how hard we all are on ourselves as mothers. We want our … Continue reading →

I don’t know how mothers did this single mom thing before cell phones. I’m tethered to mine and so is Hailey. I don’t know what I would do if I could not reach her at any time. Being a working single mother meant that Hailey has always been on her own a lot. Thanks to cell phones she could call me anytime she was frightened and I could call her anytime I just wanted to know she was ok. Hailey got her first phone when she was twelve. Lots of people told me that was too young but for us, … Continue reading →

Ever have one of those days? Those days when you wish you could clone yourself? As a single mom it seems those days happen often. One day I was at work and the school called, it seemed I had forgotten to put money in Hailey’s lunch account. Due to some issues the school was having I couldn’t do it online, I had to send in a check. I told them I would send a check tomorrow but they insisted that I come in and pay for Hailey’s lunch or she would have to do without. In the words of the … Continue reading →

While there are many challenges to being a single parent there are also benefits that are often overlooked. This is not how I expected my family to look, but here it is, and I had to make the best of it. I have changed and grown so much since becoming a single mother. I am stronger, have more confidence in myself and I take more responsibility for things. When I was married I didn’t need to know how the lawnmower worked or how to fix the kitchen sink. When I was first divorced I was at a loss about how … Continue reading →

Have you grieved for your marriage? If not, you can’t heal. Although it’s not an actual death it is the death of your dream, that one that you’ve been carrying in your heart since you were a teenager. Mom and Dad who love each other raising a few perfect kids in a house with a white picket fence. It’s hard to let go and in order to let go you have to grieve what is lost. I’m not saying that you should wallow in that grief but just know that it is part of the process. Give yourself time to … Continue reading →

When Hailey was born many times I wished for a manual. Something that would guide me and let me know if I was doing the right thing. Eventually, I learned enough about my baby that she was able to tell me what she needed and together, we figured this thing out. However when I got divorced I was once again looking for that manual. What do I do first? What kind of relationship should I have with my ex husband? Where should we live? Is it ok for Hailey to change schools? What if my ex misses his weekend with … Continue reading →

We all try our best to be good at parenting and when you are a single parent it seems like there is even more pressure to get it right. You don’t have another influence on your child, it’s just you so you better be doing a good job. No one says that but that’s how you feel. Every day I think, how can I be a better mother? I think the best thing I can do for my child is give her a family and a community of support. Her family may not be the one she is born into … Continue reading →

It seems like before the ink is dry on your divorce decree everyone starts asking you if you think you will get married again. What? I’m not really thinking much beyond what I’m going to fix for dinner and how to get time off work to have the car fixed. Now you want me to think about getting married again? It’s almost painful to say that, married again. Each of us thought that first time was forever, there wouldn’t be any “again,” yet here we are, wondering what to do next. We all want to be loved, we need to … Continue reading →