Researchers at Johns Hopkins University have completed a study which found that when a child is exposed to multiple transitions in his or her mother’s live-in partners, aggressive behaviors are the result. Primarily in white children, the study determined that when a child fourteen or younger had endured more than two changes in mom’s romantic relationships the troubling behaviors increased. The correlation was not found when mothers kept their dating partners outside the home, living separately. Yet if there were at least three different live-in relationships, which would include marriages or cohabitating lovers, it seemed to trigger significant behavioral difficulties … Continue reading →

Imagine you’re a fire fighter, rushing to the scene of a blaze that has just broken out at a residence. You run up onto the scene, and start screaming, “Another fire! I hate fires! Why are there always fires? This is so aggravating!” In the meantime, the kitchen cabinets in the house are now burning more intensely. “I always have to deal with these blazes, and it’s driving me crazy!” you shout. Then you pull from your bag a flask of gasoline, dousing the fire with it. As the flames rage higher, you say, “Quit burning! I mean it! I … Continue reading →

When we parent children with problem behaviors, it’s hard not to take their actions personally. My stepdaughter, who has ADHD and suspected ODD, has tirades and vengeful behaviors which have occasionally hurt my feelings deeply. The questions that come to mind are “WHY do you have to act like that?” “WHY can’t you behave like your older brother or sister?” “WHY are you the child who keeps getting into trouble at school?” And, even more secretly, “WHY can’t I change you?” Losing it… On one occasion, I just lost it. I did. I got down on my knees and yelled … Continue reading →

There are all kinds of names for it. You know what I’m talking about–THE chair. The chair of last resort. The chair of no return. It’s been called the “naughty stool,” or “time-out,” or “the chill-out chair.” No matter what you call it, it can be a parent’s friend and ally if it’s used correctly. Children with disabilities are certainly not immune from needing a time-out on the chair. In fact, they may need the visual, concrete, and predictable aspect of the chair more than most. The problem is that parents often get sloppy using it. In this blog, I’m … Continue reading →