When Your Child Won’t Go To Sleep

If your child has difficulty falling and staying asleep, it can be tremendously frustrating. That’s because if your child is awake during the night, you will be, too. If your tranquil evenings are constantly interrupted by a child who gets out of bed, cries, or insists on sleeping with Mom and Dad, things can get miserable fast. Special needs children are especially prone to sleeping difficulties. Here are some tips to help your child get to sleep: 1. Don’t allow your child to have sugary foods or drinks at least two hours before bedtime. If your child has bedwetting problems, … Continue reading →

“LADY, get control of your KID!”

Those of us with behaviorally disordered kids get them all the time: Stares. Glares. Looks of indignation. Eye rolls. Huffs. Puffs. Expressions that say, “Lady, get control of your kid!” So this blog is dedicated to those people who shoot the looks of disapproval. Dear shoppers on the run, strangers waiting in line, and cashiers at the counter, It may look like I have failed miserably at raising a well-behaved child. He appears to be an ordinary kid who somehow turned into a monster from bad parenting. And maybe he is irritating you. Maybe you’re annoyed beyond belief at my … Continue reading →

Are You a Helicopter Parent?

Envision a helicopter, full of supplies. Imagine it dipping and swooping, hovering over a soldier on the battlefield. If the solider forgets something important, it drops the necessary item. If the soldier is in trouble, it swoops him up and rescues him. If the soldier is facing difficult combat, it dives in and destroys the enemy on site. A handy asset for any soldier, right? Not if the soldier is a child, and the helicopter is her parent. That’s because children need to experience the natural consequences of their actions. If you hover over your child, rescuing her from consequences, … Continue reading →

Why is my child doing THAT? Understanding Misbehavior

A couple of weeks ago, my nine-year-old stepdaughter opened a can of paint that was in the back of a utility cabinet, and spread it all over our guest bathroom. When my husband and I asked her why, she only shrugged. Not too many days prior to this incident, she took a black permanent marker and scribbled all over our television, covering everything but the screen. Remember, this is a nine-year-old. She has done some very peculiar things that are humorous now in retrospect, but were extremely aggravating in the moment. For example, she took a hedge clipper and chopped … Continue reading →

The Magic Train Book: How I Motivated My Autistic Son to Sit Quietly in Church

When Kyle was a preschooler, I was fortunate to be able to meet weekly with students and staff at the University of California, San Diego Autism Research Program. Each session, we would sit together and discuss problems I was having with Kyle, and possible approaches to resolving them. The Problem One of the biggest challenges I faced at that time was that I was unable to sit with the congregation at my church, because Kyle had too many tantrums and loud outbursts. Every Sunday, I stood out in the lobby and missed the majority of the meeting. A team of … Continue reading →

Discipline and the Special Needs Child: An Act of Love

Even more than average children, the special-needs child requires appropriate discipline. I like to point to the example of Helen Keller, who as a blind and deaf child was initially allowed to roam freely in her house, eating off people’s plates, breaking and throwing things at will. Her amazing transformation into an intellectually gifted adult could not have happened without regulations and order. Without discipline, your child’s world is more frightening, more chaotic, and more challenging. Appropriate discipline is an act of love. The question is, how do we discipline a child with a disability? 1. Know your child’s motivators. … Continue reading →

Adapting Your Home Environment to Minimize Behavior Problems

As children grow, they constantly test the boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Special-needs children, who may be easily over-stimulated or agitated by their surroundings, are in even greater need of structure and a controlled environment. As a parent, you can help dramatically decrease your child’s outbursts, tantrums, and other difficult behaviors by taking charge of the physical surroundings in your home. 1. Create a “free play” space for your child. Find a safe place in your home that you can set apart as your child’s free territory to explore. Put down a child-friendly carpet to help designate the area … Continue reading →

Please Don’t Underestimate My Child: A Parent’s Plea

Misguided Attempts at Compassion I am concerned when people refuse to expect, or even demand, greatness from special-needs children. This comes from a misguided attempt to be compassionate. We can’t fault others when they haven’t traveled this road and don’t understand. They want to be helpful, but don’t know how. As parents who know our kids’ abilities, we often have to give people direction. “No, It’s Not Okay.” My son Kyle has always attended church with our family. During individual class time, volunteer members teach the children. One Sunday, I entered the room where the kids were singing and receiving … Continue reading →

When Your Child Throws a Tantrum in Public: 4 Steps to Regain Control

“Please…make it stop!” With most of life’s problems, we can’t just ignore them and hope they’ll go away. However, tantrums can be an exception. With the right technique, you can ignore your child’s tantrums and eliminate them–hopefully forever. But it takes guts and determination. My Tantrum Hell When my son Kyle was five, his autism made language difficult. Rather than express his frustration in words, he screamed. He would lay on the floor, screeching, sometimes hitting himself and kicking his feet. This made traveling to public places a challenge. At the grocery store, Kyle would spot a toy or book … Continue reading →