Adoptive Couple Kept their Special Needs Children in Cages

I was recently reading a story in the CBS News Archives about an Ohio couple who were the adoptive parents of eleven special needs children ranging in age from 14 to 1. Some of the disabilities of the children included autism and fetal alcohol syndrome. Apparently, this couple had been keeping the children in cages at night. The cages were reported to be homemade, constructed of wood and chicken wire, and were approximately three feet by six feet wide… but the exact dimensions are in dispute. There was no bedding in the cages, and some had locks or were blocked … Continue reading →

How to Plan Trouble-Free Family Outings

One of the saddest realities for families with special needs children is that leisure time can seem like an impossible dream. The more severe the child’s disability, the harder it is to plan vacations, outings, or even a quick trip to the grocery store. Many families become prisoners of their homes. It just feels like too much trouble, and too scary, to get out and experience fun and recreation. What if you forget important medical equipment? What if something goes wrong? Maybe the child has serious behavior problems. Maybe she screams constantly or causes a spectacle in public. The thought … Continue reading →

A Necessary Dose of Mommy or Daddy: Visitation and the Special Needs Child

It’s a very difficult thing to do: packing your child up for a weekend, two weeks, or even a whole summer to spend time with his other parent. This is especially true if your ex-spouse is not willing to work agreeably with you as a parenting partner. A child with special needs is particularly hard to send away for any extended period of time. He or she may have certain challenges you’ve been working on, and you’ve just started to make some progress when it’s time for his departure. How do you see that your ex-spouse continues with the parental … Continue reading →

“Brother for Sale.” Helping Kids Cope with their Sibling’s Disability

What would otherwise be normal sibling rivalry is even more complex between a special needs and a typical child. The child without a disability will experience a wide variety of feelings, all of which are perfectly normal and understandable. As parents, there are some ways to help encourage positive relationships between our children, while also recognizing their different emotional needs. Here are some typical emotions that siblings of special needs children may experience: Resentment: Siblings might resent the extra attention, time, and emotional focus that is directed toward the special needs sibling. They may resent it if they are given … Continue reading →

Balancing Family Time

When you’re raising a child with special needs, it’s easy for things to get off-balance. The child and his medical and special education issues can overwhelm your time and attention. Often families are torn apart because of these inequities. Spouses can feel forgotten, and siblings feel neglected and jealous. If the focus on your special needs child is so all-consuming that your family fades in the background, you’re doing your child a disservice. His or her greatest chance for happiness and success depends in many ways upon the strength and stability of the family environment at home. Here are some … Continue reading →

Facing Divorce, with a Special Needs Child

There is no question that having a child with a disability is a tremendous source of stress for any couple. What was once a carefree romantic relationship turns into a painful, confusing, emotional rollercoaster, at least for a time. Sometimes one partner decides he or she wants off the ride. And this leaves a tremendous burden on the spouse left behind. When Reality Hit Me…Hard I found myself in this situation. I’ll never forget sitting across from my then-husband as he announced, “It’s time for you to move on with your life.” I looked down at my seven-month pregnant belly, … Continue reading →

Teaching Children Relationship Boundaries

As my son enters his teenage years, I have become more concerned about his vulnerabilities. Twice I have learned of incidents where classmates coaxed him into inappropriate behaviors at school. I’ve also dealt with a stepdaughter who would climb into visitors’ laps, hugging them until they were uncomfortable. So I have wondered, how can I teach my children relationship boundaries, to protect them from people who would take advantage of them? This is important information for any child. I found an excellent way to teach this, through the idea of Circles, devised by Marklyn P. Champagne and Leslie W. Walker-Hirsch. … Continue reading →

Siblings of Special Needs Children Learn Love and Compassion

Today I was thinking about what having an autistic child has meant in the lives of my other six children. Initially upon Kyle’s diagnosis I believe I had some concern for his siblings. What if they have to endure frustration, disappointment, and even ridicule because of their brother? Would friends reject them because, “Your brother is weird?” Or might they resent him if he required extra attention from me? Whatever concerns I might have had in the early phases of diagnosis have long since disappeared. There is no doubt that Kyle’s existence in our family has been a gift to … Continue reading →

Keeping Your Marriage Strong while raising a special-needs child

Your child has been diagnosed, and you are faced with the reality that your son or daughter has a developmental delay. The news can be crushing, and sometimes devastating to a marriage. What often drives couples apart are the different coping strategies adopted by each partner. Recognize Coping Strategies For example, a husband might cope by withdrawing from the situation. He may bury himself in his work, staying later than usual in the evenings. He may become hostile over minor things, in an attempt to keep himself emotionally distant from his wife. Perhaps a wife might cope by becoming obsessed … Continue reading →