It’s Memorial Day as I write this blog and although we have our meal planned out for the day, which includes my husband grilling and me making potato salad and desserts, we don’t know who is going to come over.
We have sort of an interesting family dynamic. My husband’s brother married my sister, so our families are very closely intertwined. It can be good in many ways but it can also be a huge challenge in other ways.
Without going into the details, let’s just say that getting together as a family isn’t always easy. People sometimes have their own ideas on how to celebrate a holiday and that can cause a riff in the family. In fact sometimes it’s almost like it’s my husband’s “side” versus my “side.”
Years ago this used to cause a great deal of conflict between my husband and me. We would find ourselves choosing a side and of course, most often it meant he chose his “side” and I chose mine. I don’t think I have to tell you that it didn’t turn out well.
However through the years we have finally come to realize that our marriage is not meant to be based on his side or my side. We have learned to not engage ourselves in that drama. We have learned to take ourselves out of it and remain as neutral as possible. That isn’t always easy but it is always worth it.
I guess we have just really learned what it means to leave our father and mother and become one. We are no longer two, one against the other but we have melded into one. We need to stand united no matter what.
So while we have done that, we don’t know what to expect today. But we do know that no matter what come 3 p.m., my husband and I will be enjoying a wonderful Memorial Day meal together.
What challenging family dynamics does your marriage face and how do you handle it?
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