It’s challenging enough dealing with the anxiety that lives in our minds. But when it is channeled through the body – as it always is – anxiety works us over double time. Sometimes it manifests as a tightness in the gut, or clenching of the teeth or hands. Over time, though, anxiety takes a more dangerous toll on our physical sides, from ulcers and panic attacks, to high blood pressure and heart attacks. What’s worse is when we add fuel to the fire, treating our bodies in ways that only make anxiety worse. Rita knows this all too well.
Promptly at 9:30, Rita heard her co-worker start making the rounds in the office for the morning coffee run. She knew they wouldn’t even ask her if she wanted any. It had taken about two weeks for the three who alternated the run to realize she really meant it when she said didn’t need anything. Rita used to be one of them, making the morning run herself, not so long ago. She said no now, but part of her still wanted to say yes – yes to that delicious jolt of hot delight, rich with flavor and caffeine, melting away her worries and fueling the rest of her morning. Rita wasn’t afraid anymore to admit she was hooked, and she couldn’t go back, at least not now. This time she was committed to making different choices, even if it meant putting up with the aroma that filled the office by ten o’clock each weekday.
There were so many changes to be made, changes Rita had put off for years until things had finally caught up with her. She’d started drinking coffee her junior year in high school as a way to keep her weight down and her energy up. Juggling classes and an after-school job, she never got enough sleep back then, except on the weekends, when she routinely slept past noon. Back then she paid attention only to how much she ate, not what. She went without eating whenever necessary, as defined by the way her jeans fit or whether she was dating anyone.
Rita had always been an anxious person, funneling her franticness into school and work and, occasionally, a relationship. Back then she hadn’t paid too much attention to her edginess; it was just the way she was. She had accepted that she lived life at a fast clip, jumping from thing to thing, day to day, trying to keep up. Rita had been able to string herself along this way through a year and a half of community college, three part-time jobs, one full-time job, and two serious relationships. She kept thinking she’d calm down once her life slowed down, but it never seemed to.
The full-time job in her late twenties meant she finally had medical insurance and could get a routine physical, something she hadn’t done since leaving home. Rita could still remember her feeling of shock when the doctor talked about putting her on high blood pressure medication. She remembered thinking, Wait, isn’t that for older people? When had she become defined as older? She’d vehemently refused the medication and said she’d take steps to get her blood pressure down. Of course, the only real step she took was to avoid going back to the doctor. She’d started taking her blood pressure at the kiosk in the grocery store but gave that up too when the numbers flashing on the display never seemed to cooperate. She firmly decided to go with the age-old strategy of ingorance is bliss.
That changed after the panic attack. Three hours in the emergency room was a wake-up call. After all the testing to figure out what was wrong, Rita found out her physical condition hadn’t improved in the past five years; it had deteriorated. Her weight was up, her blood pressure was up, and her anxiety was definitely up. She felt emotionally and physically taut – increasingly stretched by the stresses in her life without a way to stop the pull. But it had to stop, she decided; she couldn’t go on living this way anymore. Rita wanted to be free from the stress, from the worry; she wanted to be free from the feeling that peace was always an arm’s length away. Rita was ready to lose the stress; it was the other things she needed to lose in the process that proved more difficult to give up.
Two weeks ago she’d given up coffee. She was determined to make better choices for herself and her health. She just needed to focus on what she was gaining instead of on what she was losing. As the rich smell began to permeate the air around her, Rita took a deep drink of her water and kept telling herself it was for the best.
Rita’s story is one excerpted from my book Overcoming Anxiety, Worry and Fear: Practical Ways to Find Peace. As I share in the book, try taking a cue from how we treat anxiety at The Center for Counseling and Health Resources. More than a condition of the mind, anxiety must be treated from a whole-person approach. Yes, that includes the physical, but also the emotional, relational and spiritual side. It’s time to treat yourself differently, making positive choices to reduce anxiety, body, heart and soul.