How much is genetic? How much the way God made them? And how much influence does a parent have on a child’s personality and character traits? These questions have always fascinated me. I started thinking about them again today after reading Lyn’s blog about, what the way a child colors says about them and their schoolwork.
When our son was young we had his room filled with myriad soft toys in bright colors and orange pictures or bright cartoon characters on the lemon walls. I was determined not to go for the traditional blue. A colored mobile hung above the cot.
Later, when our daughter was born, I painted a mural of elephants, frogs and other animals and a stylistic apple tree in bright colors on her wall. They certainly weren’t great art. But simple drawings that required a lot of attempts and much rubbing out before I was happy enough with it. Fortunately young children are not too critical.
And I didn’t stick to traditional colors. As I remember the elephant was red to match the trees on her wallpaper. A mobile of lions in yellow and red felt and another of elephants yellow, blue, red and green hung above her cot. She grew up to have an interest in art and study art at university. Despite a similar upbringing, our son on the other hand, like his mother, shows no aptitude for art or crafts.
Yet we encouraged both children in these areas and tried to always get them not to stick to the conventional but use their imagination. As a result, coloring books or paintings might have orange and pink sky and blue trees. It only hit me today that one of the paintings our daughter did in her later school years had royal blue trees.
When I talked with my husband about this blog, he pointed me towards a song on his ‘Harry Chapin – the gold Medal collection’ CD. The song, from the poem,‘Flowers are Red,’ tells of a boy who painted lots of colors because when he looked at a rainbow or the sun or a flower, he saw not one color but lots. However the teacher insisted he must paint flowers red with green leaves and so she stifled his creativity. It’s a sad comment on the way parents and teachers can stifle children’s imagination.
Did the colorful bedroom and the fact that we surrounded our daughter with picture books from the time she was a baby have anything to with her interest in art? I doubt it.
People used to ask us if either of us were arty, ‘then where did she get her gift from?’ I believe and used to answer that it was ‘God given.’
From an early age she showed more interest in pictures in a book and would pore for hours over illustrations by Brian Wildsmith and Jane Tanner, whereas our son was far more interested in the words. He was reading at four years old. By the time he was five, teacher who tested him found, he had a reading level of a twelve year old.
So we have children raised similarly but with different God given characteristics and traits. And I am thankful for their differences. It made parenting interesting, a challenge sometimes, but also lot of fun. I’m glad the Lord God gave us children with different personalities and gifts. Do you rejoice in the differences in your children and thank God for those differences?
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